This may be long

Ok so me and my wife never had sex yet I’m 29 and she’s 23 she has anxiety and when ever the thought of sex with her comes up she pushes me away she keeps telling me that if I wanna have sex with her that she has to be asleep I can’t do that I actually tried twice even while asleep she moves and pushes me away there is only 1 position I can really do because of my package being small and that with her legs in the air I have not been successful with that yet because when I get her legs up she pushes me away.
I tried 1 time while she was awake and she started flipping out and getting upset we have tried counseling we talked to her doctor about it and nothing has seemed to work idk what else I can do.
She doesn’t have any history of being abused plz any advice is very much appreciated

This may be long

Ok so me and my wife never had sex yet I’m 29 and she’s 23 she has anxiety and when ever the thought of sex with her comes up she pushes me away she keeps telling me that if I wanna have sex with her that she has to be asleep I can’t do that I actually tried twice even while asleep she moves and pushes me away there is only 1 position I can really do because of my package being small and that with her legs in the air I have not been successful with that yet because when I get her legs up she pushes me away.
I tried 1 time while she was awake and she started flipping out and getting upset we have tried counseling we talked to her doctor about it and nothing has seemed to work idk what else I can do.
She doesn’t have any history of being abused plz any advice is very much appreciated

Hi cdawg,

One of the reasons we get married is so that we can have a sexual, intimate relationship with our spouse. This would be a deal-breaker for many people. Are you sure she has no history of sexual trauma in her past? I would be sure to completely rule this out. I don't know how long you have been married, but if you have not been married long I would really think long and hard about if you want to stay in a relationship where you will not have sex. The other option is exploring something like male chastity. Some women just need to feel like they're in control. Some sexual relationships have completely reversed after the men started exploring chastity for themselves. And I don't mean no orgasms, I mean more of a tease and denial, the woman leads the sexual relationship sort of thing. She decides when you orgasm, etc. If this sounds too out there for you, then you may want to re-evaluate whether you want to be married to her. Others may have other ideas to try. And of course, talk to her and let her know how you feel and that this may be a deal-breaker for you.

Good luck,
Seneca