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Author Topic: Problem with threesome, jealousy, thoughts

July 04, 2019, 07:21:38 PM
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shineofdarkblue


So I was that kind of a person who would jump from one relationship to another, always got hurt but continued to have more relationships. I know that's wrong and I realised it and learned my mistakes. In that kind of realtionships I never had sex, because I wasn't prepared for it. But when I met my current boyfriend I had sex with him. He were my first, and I was his. I cant' say that I'm not a sexual person, but I don't need to have sex constantly and I'm not always thrilled for those kind of activities, I would rather to focus on myself, the future and to build a healthy strong realtionship, sex is something that comes up spontaneously. Maybe that will change after we move in together, but for now that's my feeling . So, we are in a one year relationship and we are really connected, love each other, we are planning our future together, we always talk openly, understand each other and have those deep kind conversation and everything that comes with it. Recently I was having thoughts about myself, my life and everything that is happening, and I was scrolling through instagram and saw a girl with who he was in contact. They were hanging out as a friends before me, and he also admitted that he only wanted to have sexual activities with her nothing else and then the weird thought pooped  in my mind. The thought about her pleasing him and doing sexual things to him made me feel excited, jealous and low at the same time. That girl is really attractive and has an ideal body, which I  wouldn't say for myself. I love my body and hate it at the same time. I have some complexes and I wish some things on my body were different, but I sorta accepted it. He on the other side thinks that I'm attractive to him and that I have an awesome body and that I turn him on. So I gathered the courage to tell him about my thoughts but I didn't mention that girl just that kind of fantasy, and he was really happy that I said that to him, but happy because I was having those thoughts and that weirded me out much more. He admitted that he would love to have a threesome with me and a girl(not that girl from instagram) and then I was totally shocked because I expected him to just accept my thoughts and be there for me but not wishing them to be true. I was feeling low and never been so confused about our realtionship and our connection till now. I never imagined that he was that kind of a person who would love to have a threesome and to share me and share himself in that intimate act. So now I don't know how to feel about him, and about our relationship,because deep down in my heart I know I could never have threesome, or to see my man being intimate with another person, which is confusing to me in a first place because of that arousal in the beginning, and I would feel bad and never ever could relax and accept it, and I also sad that to him and he just replied: '' What's wrong with threesome'' with a cynical laugh. So I'm worried now where this relationship will go, and am I wrong for feeling this way?

 

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