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Author Topic: Mismatched Libido

September 04, 2019, 04:00:35 PM
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Been dating my gf for 2 years.  I’m 39 and she’s 35.  In the beginning we were having sex at least 3 times/week.  Now it’s once a week and not necessarily every week.  Her libido is very healthy and strong.  Mine has seemingly dropped off a cliff in the last year (about the time I moved in with her to her house).  We’re both divorced and I have a 10 year old that lives with us.  Mornings and evenings are the best times for sex due to work schedules and my child.  I’m usually exhausted and really not in the mood at night but morning/daytime I’m good to go.  She’s the opposite.  After multiple times of her initiating and me saying I wasn’t in the mood/too tired, she stopped and got upset.  Important to note is her ex never had sex with her and barely had anything to do with her physically and that did some heavy damage to her self esteem.  So I know it’s a big deal.  I just can’t explain why I don’t need sex that much now.  I used to masturbate almost daily.  Now it’s maybe once every 3 weeks or so. 
She asked what I want/how to spice things up.  I mentioned sexy underwear/thongs.  But she refuses to wear a thong and said she doesn’t see the point in wearing something like that if all I’m going to do is take it off.  Also I told her of my desire for shaved ladyparts.  Again she was/is irritable about that but will shave, but not regularly and typically lets it get out of hand. 

I don’t know what else to do as the things that would get me horny are things she’s seemingly not interested in doing.  I’m sorry but t-shirts, regular pjs and granny panties are just not much of a turn on.  Seeing sexy lingerie and a shaved vagina is what turns me on.  So why is she so against doing the very things she’s asking me to tell her I want??  Believe me I want to be rip roaring and ready to jump her bones at the drop of a hat but I’m not.  So I always have to initiate when I’m feeling horny.  I don’t mind but it bugs her that whenever she initiates, 9 times out of 10, I’m not in the mood and can’t get in the mood (especially with no effort put towards wearing sexy lingerie or grooming).  I’ve even told her how I feel awful about my low libido and it truly does bother me.  She said she’d stop giving me shit about it knowing that it really does bother me.  And yet she’s once again getting irritated with me but she refuses to do the things I suggested. 

Any ideas?


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