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Author Topic: Love, sex, threesome, long distance? I'm confused and curious?

June 18, 2019, 08:25:39 PM
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millylovehim


So, here is the background: My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He has been my best friend, my rock, and of course a lover. He treats me like a queen and we have been starting to talk about marriage. We are both in our mid 20's, and I was his first everything but he was not my first.

After leaving my prior relationship (4 years on/off) I was very broken and jumped pretty quickly into this one. Not that I regret doing so, because my boyfriend is great, but there are some concerns. Mostly that he is very protective of me, particularly when I want to go spend time with my girlfriends going downtown.
He really doesn't like me drinking period, or going out with friends. He does not like clubs at all and would prefer a single beer out on the porch.  Now, I am the opposite and I love going out, though don't do it often because of work and school.

Here is where it gets wild:
My ex and I had some wild sex. It was honestly about 90% of our relationship. It was very passionate when it occurred but there was no emotional connection (at least on his end). In my current relationship, there is an emotional connection, but it isn't as firey. I am the only person he has been with, so maybe that could be a part of it, and the sex is generally good.
Anyway, to spice things up, he and I were drinking together a while ago (which he's ok with me drinking if it's with him) and we decided to play the game where you get to ask wild questions. We have done this before, and haven't really learned anything new, but this time he told me something different. He told me that he was into male-male-female "mmf" porn. He is not gay in the least bit, but he said he seems fascinated by letting another guy have sex with me. For me, I was surprised, since he is usually so protective of me in regards to other men. From what I understood from that conversation is that he doesn't want the guy there for anything other than "extra pleasure for me."

Well, I can't relate because I certainly couldn't imagine inviting another female for "extra pleasure" for him. The thought makes me uncomfortable. Even inviting another male in is something I would have neverrr in my wildest dreams considered before.

Now here is where it gets weird:

He's away for work for 6 months. Him leaving was reallyyyy rough on me. I took it very hard. While I know I will see him soon, (3 weeks), it's weird not having him with me every night for dinner, movies, going to the gym, studying, etc. Physically missing him has gotten pretty bad too, since it seems I always want him more when I can't have him. Well, he's been gone, and lately one of my neighbors, has been talking to me a lot and he has gotten progressively more flirty. He's one of the most attractive guys I have ever met. (My boyfriend is like a 7/10, this guy is like a 9.9/10). Anyway, my neighbor is kind of a douche (especially if he is with other guys) but when he's with me he is a total charmer. (My other neighbor told me he was taking selfies non-stop at the bar... what she didn't know was that he was sending them to me via snapchat last weekend. Douchey right?).

 I don't have any emotional attraction to him. Really, he seems like the type who just likes to get laid. Typically, he would be just another douche guy that I am acquainted with or maybe, if given the benefit of doubt just flirty-type and we would be friends and that's all. Though it seems like every day when I seem him the physical attraction just goes through the roof.

I love and miss my boyfriend like crazy, but I keep thinking that if what he said is true, inviting another guy in, this guy would be the one.

I'm nervous to talk to my boyfriend about it since we had that whole talk while we were drinking. Honestly, if he was okay with it I would really consider my neighbor as an option for this. I could never do anything without his permission and okay, but I don't know how to go about it. Though if my neighbor isn't into it it would just be super awkward.


June 19, 2019, 04:18:49 PM
Reply #1
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Fr8train


Millylovehim I would be very careful with this type of situation. I’m in kind of a similar situation as far as me and my wife go, she’s been with a lot of guys before me and me only 4 including her. So to hear of this idea your boyfriend has I guess could be understandable due to lack of experience aside from you. Me personally threesome either way hasn’t ever really peaked my interest is rather focus on one women. But you had mentioned this came up while drinking, a lot of things come up while drinking that are wild and maybe not exactly what we want or want to explore. Understanding his past sex experience or lack of I feel he is looking to compete with your past lovers and be the one that can satisfy you to no end, that is something I feel toward my wife and keep in the back of my mind also. Does he really want to do it? Or does he think that’s what would please you? But if it is the case inviting a neighbor, who you both will cross paths with frequently I think is a bad idea, if the situation takes the next step and it goes south (and not in the good way! Lol) that could affect the relationship in many ways and just everyday life. Hope I helped a little bit.

July 31, 2019, 10:48:33 PM
Reply #2
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Mchill


As someone who can honestly say, “been there, done that”........ here’s my take on the matter.

Threesomes in general are problematic because deciding who to pick and who gets to pick is always the issue.  And who gets to pick is usually the larger problem.  In this case, i would say your boyfriend probably thinks he should pick, since he brought it up.  Which is usually the case.

The only successful threesomes I’ve had were organic.  In other words, unplanned, we were drinking and next thing you know we’re all fucking.  And the next everybody’s like “oh my god I’m so sorry about last night, i don’t know what i was thinking, and I’m like, i know right?!? Crazy good times, see ya around”.........

Now what i have done many times is a threesome during a foursome or a sixsome.   We’re swingers and that has happened before where it was again, organic, and 3 start fooling around.

As for doing it with your neighbor, that could be weird.

I would recommend a website for this sort of thing such as swinglifestyle.com or swingdateclub.com.  This way you meet someone or a couple that’s in your area but you don’t know them.  Of course you can/should hang out a little, exchange some emails, and then get together and bump uglies, and everyone goes back to their own life. 

But you and your boyfriend should do a profile together and pick someone or a couple together.   

Just a thought ........

 

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