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Author Topic: I want woman's opinion. Well man's opinion as well

March 08, 2020, 11:20:40 PM
Read 929 times


Here is the deal. I started dating good looking girl and we have been together for 11 months. We had sex 5 times. She is frustrated because I'm the one that always says no in a polite way. I care about her a lot and she is good looking, I just don't feel /want to sleep with her. The reason is she doesn't turn me on. One of the reason is that she dresses literally like homeless person. How can I tell her that that  is and instant boner roadblock from the get go? How can I tell her and not make sound like an asshole and to insult her.
I feel like I have no right to tell anyone what to wear, but on the other hand I care about her a lot and don't want to just leave without giving it a chance. I even bought her some nice sports clothes to wear ( we both like to play racket sports) and told her please to dump one of her shirts and today when we played together she showed up in the same worn down shirt. It's so bad that I have never saw woman wearing something that bad.
I made a sarcastic comment today "nice shirt" and got a question back "You don't like what I'm wearing?"
Again, I don't feel I have a right to tell anyone what to wear (who am I to judge) so I answered " I don't care what you wear, wear what you want" thinking that she might read in between the lines, but it didn't seem to penetrate.
What can I do to give the relationship  one, of few more chances? How can I tell her to take care of herself? I have no desire to have sex with as every time I see her not taking care of herself, I'm feeling less and less attracted to her. It's basically matter of time when I go and sleep with someone else (which I don't want to, but I have needs) (Btw., she is 42, educated, makes decent money)

April 04, 2020, 06:45:07 AM
Reply #1


Hello there... I’m a woman & had same situation w my ex bf, awful - so i understand. There is only 1 thing to do - you must tell her in as nice a way as possible. You’re taking a chance here & may offend her BUT I truly believe if she cares about you, she’ll make the effort.  Just do it.

April 09, 2020, 01:25:11 PM
Reply #2


Its dangerous territory for sure. My fiance has told me that certain things I do or dont do make sex with me less appealing and that shit was really hard to hear. Im actually sitting here now wondering if I should be putting more effort into what I wear while simultaneously thinking its crazy that I should have to dress up and try to make myself more attractive to my partner who should be attracted to me regardless. But you cant do nothing. Trying to ignore these sorts of things will eventually lead to more and more problems. Maybe try getting her one nice top and asking that she wear it on a date. Tell her you love the shape of her body and think she would look stunning it the top. And then subtly reinforce that during the date. Let her catch you looking her over, make a lot of extra physical contact, show her the change it makes without going overboard. Seeing our man thrned on by our appearance IS really nice and makes us want more of that. It might not work, we are not all the same, but that would be my approach.

Also, if it doesnt work, plz nreak it off BEFORE you sleep with someone else. Being cheated on is so much worse than just being broken up with 

April 20, 2020, 05:31:38 PM
Reply #3


I feel you really need to talk to her about this. Your emotions are bound to blow up one day after bottling it up for so long. If you can't bring yourself to tell her, then I think this relationship might be a hard one to continue if you two can't communicate effectively. Communication is key and a romantic relationship is as good as dead without it. I also think she has probably conditioned herself to dress this way and it is going to be a very hard habit to break, given she has probably dressed like this for a long time. There is no point in holding back your concerns if you want to keep her as your partner. And if you choose to sleep with other women because of your sex drive, you should end it before it gets to that point. I have no intention of coming off as overly critical, but as a woman I do not appreciate the "I have needs" argument. Sometimes it does apply, but it can come off the wrong way.


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