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Author Topic: His Nightly Activities Are Causing Insecurity

August 02, 2019, 05:52:49 PM
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I am a 35 y/o female married to my husband for 8 years (also 35).

I recently have noticed he masturbates almost every night (I find the evidence) even sometimes on the nights we have had sex.
We typically have sex 2-3 times a week and it's mutual, meaning I don't have to force it, he's into it.
Many articles I have read on the psychology of this issue seem to say women are too sensitive about husbands who regularly masturbate and it shouldn't be taken as a bad thing.

However, I hesitate about asking him directly re: the nightly activity because I think it could embarrass him and make him feel like he needs to take greater lengths to hide it.

Bottom line, my main issue is that I feel like if he's doing it very often, that I am inadequate in some way.

Any advice is welcome.

August 03, 2019, 05:08:55 AM
Reply #1


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August 19, 2019, 11:40:08 PM
Reply #2


@fallsdown01 - I honestly wouldn't worry about it. He could be doing it for many different reasons and most of them will not be for any dissatisfaction with you. The way I see masturbation (an I'm talking in context of a relationship) is that it can be a little treat to yourself and it could because of wanting to relieve stress, or it could be because the sex drive is through the roof at that time.
I think the main point of what I am trying to say is that it's not necessarily negative or to do with you.
I would also say, that you know your husband best, but kind of be careful about raising it unless you are absolutely sure. I still kind of feel embarrassed talking about masturbation even though I know I shouldn't be and I am not ashamed of it.


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