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Author Topic: Am I too worried about exploring my gf's fetish now and sex later?

August 11, 2019, 01:08:46 PM
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Hi, this is a bit of a long explanation so if you'd like the short version, you can scroll down to the end.

I'm 19 and going through a funky spot in my relationship. I've been dating my girl for 8 months now and it's been a blast, but
I just now worked up the courage to ask her about what our post-marriage would be like should we get that far. I feel it's important to discuss these things earlier on, so that I can see a clearer image of my potential future with my partner.

When I asked her if she would be willing to have sex after marriage, both for children and intimacy/fun, she said she wasn't sure. She feels anxious about trying sex, but when I was worried she explained that if it's like any of her other fears (like riding roller-coasters, she used as an analogy) she'll overcome it and hopefully find it a lot of fun (again, just like riding roller-coasters). She made it clear she wants to have children and that she knows she'll have to face that fear in order to do so some day. She explained this after I made it clear how important being intimate will be for me then.

Simultaneously, she half-revealed a secret fetish of hers I had no clue of; she let me try and guess what it was, but I couldn't figure it out and I was left without an answer that night (since she was too embarrassed to reveal it). As a result of my sudden anxiety/excitement, I spent that night and the next morning trying to figure it out. I couldn't keep it off my mind! When I finally put her clues together and figured it out on my own, I was shocked to find that this was something I found arousing as well. This caused me to have an anxiety attack, so I called her at work trying to explain my findings. She was surprised and said "wow, if that's true, we're in for a trip!" I even asked her out that night just so I could talk to her more about it.

I had to ask her if this fetish was something she wanted to explore with me, but she told me she isn't ready for that since it is more sexual than my fetish she lets me indulge in (I have a thing for a girl's stomach and she's known this since our first month of dating :P she's super accepting of it and will even indulge me without me asking, I love it!  ;D). She says she tried it with her ex but it didn't feel right, so she has decided to put it down until she feels ready. However, her kink does not involve physical activity so it is completely harmless before marriage - she just doesn't feel ready. I wonder if it's got anything to do with her ex not taking it passionately enough or anything like that, but that thought makes me anxious because I feel like I could change that! I haven't expressed this thought with her out of respect for her decision, but I don't know if I should. She says it took her 3 years to reveal her kink to her ex, but only 8 months for me.

TL:DR - Her having this fetish but not being sure about post-marriage sex on a regular basis worries me as her man. I know I won't be happy living without sex and exploring our weird sides in the future (years from now), so marrying her then might be risky. There is a small uncertainty that she will even want to have sex or explore each others' fetishes. Should I be this worried, especially about something so far away and that might not even happen? I want to stop worrying about that stuff and enjoy the present, and I've talked to her about it multiple times. I'm in a weird, anxious place and want to just relax and not worry so much about what was or what will be. I feel like she is a very special girl and that we could really work, which is why I'm so passionate about keeping her. I feel that we're at a point where we should be more open about each other and our personal desires and real thoughts, but I feel so weird knowing she tried her fetish with her ex boyfriend and now may not try with me just because of how that went. I want her to give me a chance with that and don't know if that's something to talk more about right now, but it is bothering me for some reason.

I know this is complicated - it's what I've been dealing with for the past few days - but advice is extremely appreciated.

August 30, 2019, 08:00:13 AM
Reply #1


hi i am finding a long term relationship with those who have girl friend or wife

we share each other gf/wife nude and keep it secret

if u really into it pls inbox me on ig:ying0_22


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