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Will he come back?

Absolutely
1 (33.3%)
He's done
1 (33.3%)
Probably
1 (33.3%)

Total Members Voted: 3

Author Topic: Will the love of my life come running back?

June 19, 2019, 07:48:18 PM
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kmill


A little background, my boyfriend and I dated for a year and a half. Every single person I met was jealous of our love. The chemistry we had was incomparable. We both agreed that we had never had a love like each other's.

After reflecting on the relationship these past few days, I have realized where it went wrong and what I could have done better. It was my first real relationship but it wasn't his. He always told me that I was unlike any other girl he ever met. I always asked him to communicate with me what I should do better because I wasn't as experienced as him in relationships.

As time went on we started arguing more and more, but not about big things, about stupid little things. By reflecting on the relationship I also saw that he was distancing himself from me and of course that initiated arguments because I didn't know why he was acting the way that he was.

Before he met me he was in a previous longterm relationship. Almost a month after he broke up with her we started dating. It was very unexpected to fall in love so quick for both of us. His best friend is newly single and has been partying nonstop with bimbos.There is no doubt that my ex has seen how much fun he is having. Part of me wants him to sleep around and party so he can realize what he is letting go of. He obviously hasn't had that in awhile so he does deserve that fix. Most people go through that phase in their lifetime.

Although I think he is an extremely mature man, I also see his immaturities looking back. He does need some growing up to do and I really don't think he is ready for a huge commitment right now. Although about a month ago he talked to me about proposing once my loans were paid off. He also just recently took me to St. Thomas with his family, so I could see where he would get scared. His family absolutely loves me and I love them.

He broke up with me over the phone after a bad weekend of fighting. He said he knows I didn't deserve a break up over the phone but he couldn't bring himself to see my face. I was so outraged and torn apart the conversation didn't go well. It was all very hazy to be honest.


The next day I needed some closure so I texted him this:
So i know you probably don’t want to be hearing from me but I need to get some things off of my chest that have been weighing heavily. I am honestly still in shock that it came to this. I never wanted you to give up on me and I honestly never thought you would. I really thought you were the one. I think that is why I am so utterly heartbroken and sick to my stomach. You have been the only good thing in my life for a while now and it tears me apart to know that I have failed you.

I am sorry for getting too comfortable in our relationship. I was selfish not to try harder to change for you and I am sorry that I wasn’t able to. You have been the only man I have ever loved and fiercely at that. I understand this relationship has been extremely hard on the both of us and the evolution of it didn’t turn out the way either of us have wanted, but I truly believed we would get over this. I guess I was more optimistic.

We are at different times in our lives and I acknowledge that. That is why I wanted to take a break so badly. Months or even a year, because I know I haven’t been the girlfriend you’ve wanted for a while now, and I know that I really need to work on myself. I think I became so dependent on you that I lost sight of my best self which I used to have in the beginning and it affected you greatly when I lost that. I really do think we are meant to end up together... just not right now. I guess that is just the perseverance in me.

I know that you are at a transition in your life where everything seems unclear for the future. The real world is not like college and it absolutely sucks; I know. I had to figure that out all by myself, so enjoy the company you do have.. but please don’t lose who you are on your way and become someone you’re not. I know there are so many great things in store for you. Your ambition is one of the reasons why I fell in love with you in the first place.

I still have never talked bad about you to anyone and I really want you to know that. I wish you all the best in the world and you have been such a huge part of my life I am really going to miss talking to you every day. Odesza is going to be the absolute hardest thing for me this weekend and I know I will be thinking of you every second of it. I still feel like you are the only person in the world who understands me. Once time heals, I hope I don’t lose you completely. I love you Chase Darius Westerman, and I am so sorry it had to end this way.


Not expecting a reply back he responded with this within 30 min:

I really appreciate everything you said it really means a lot to me and so do you, that won’t change. I hate that I feel this way and for hurting you because when you hurt, i hurt. I’m sorry I couldn’t shake the distance created and for not being able to communicate it better.

You showed me what love is supposed to be and I will never forget the good times even though it hurts to look back on them bc they were some of the best in my life honestly.

I hope you do find that other half because I missed it for a long time. I know you will and anybody is extremely lucky to have you in their life.

I’ll make sure to stay myself as much as I can because I always want to better myself. I want you to keep bettering your ambition because you’ve grown so much in that aspect and it was amazing to see. You can do anything kennedy you really can and there’s no reason to put a limit on yourself bc of the way your mind works (anxiety). It always hurt me to see that in you and I always tried to make sure you became more confident in yourself.

I will never talk bad about you or this relationship because it’s the best i’ve ever had and i’m very thankful to have met you. I don’t want to leave false hope because I want both of us to grow without it holding either of us down. However if it is meant to be then it’ll come back. Odesza will be extremely hard for me too.. trust me. I know it’s hard to understand this & you may not believe me but I will always love you too Kennedy Sloane Miller. That’s why this is so hard for me too. I’m sorry it had to end this way too... I really am.



I really want to end up with him and I really think this space will help us each tremendously.. but how do I know if I should keep that hope that he will want me back?

June 22, 2019, 01:29:38 AM
Reply #1
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Mercy


Hi kmill,

It seems like the both of you love each other. From my opinion, the both of you feel bad towards each other and towards yourself. Like for some reason, the both of you feel that you're not good enough for each other but does want to be with each other (if that makes sense..? I realised it sounded a little weird when I typed that).

Given the situation, here's what I'll do. I'll take the time off from him for awhile and use it to spend time with me. Write down the qualities you think that you 'have to be' if you want to be with him. Say..you think you have to be more confident, or more fun and outgoing. Do that, be that.

Also, tell yourself everyday that you love yourself. Your self love will be a huge factor in attracting anyone in your life. The more you love yourself, the more you're attractive. That's just how it is. Remember that person whom he fell for? The YOU that was fun, outgoing, cheerful and ambitious? Be that person again. Learn to be comfortable with yourself,  work on yourself during this period. Be the person you'd want to be like as if you're already back with him.

Don't worry if he's coming back to you or not. You can have those desires but don't hold onto it and think about it everyday. Let that thought go for now, because it's time for you to focus on yourself in being the attractive you. He will come back later on, as long as you work on loving yourself. So don't worry about that.

All the best.

It would be great if you note down here what are your plans on working on yourself and update it once in awhile. It will be a great inspiration for others to work on themselves too, be it if they're in the same situation or not! ;)
Advises on getting back in a relationship-> *Link Removed* :)

June 28, 2019, 11:12:16 PM
Reply #2
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workingonmecolo


Oh wow this sounds kind of like my situation... It does sound like you both have great respect for each other and it does feel like you both do love each other. I  think working on yourself is a great idea as I've started doing myself. The one thing I would say is go with what your gut feeling is telling you. The heart tends to look past flaws and important things you feel are reallly need to make the relationship work. I hope this helps a little bit.

October 10, 2019, 02:19:06 AM
Reply #3
Offline

christinanuon


Testimony for emotional return of my ex

Here is my story, Three years ago my spouse left me for another woman. For me it was the man of my life, I loved him like crazy.
I did not succeed in recovering because I still love him. At first we kept in touch and then he cut the bridges. It hurt me, because I thought that you can not erase like that 3 years of a very intense relationship, very complicit.
That's how I followed the advice of a lady who was able to recover his ex thanks to a medium that I also preceded the same way with this medium and the job of 7 days, my ex me contacted. And then, at the same time, he reveals to me that he had only one thing in mind, to find me and to get back together again, that he realizes the harm ...
Since my ex has returned, he takes good care of me and loves me much more than before. We got together and we had a beautiful little girl.
So if your heart is desperate and you want to recover your ex as was my case, contact this medium of: v.legba@live.fr or whatsapp: +22962382802

From Christina

 

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