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Author Topic: Why doesn't the ex just give a straight forward answer after 5 months?

May 29, 2019, 09:22:35 AM
Read 1048 times


My ex and I were together for 15 years,  engaged for two years.   

I left because of issues that had arose in the relationship on his end.   Which caused chaos in the relationship and between families.   He announced to FB that we were no longer together and posted all the stuff that he didn't like about me.   I didn't respond because I wanted to show I was the mature one in this ordeal.   

We have separated for five months.    I have not seen him physically for about six weeks and that was to collect mail that was addressed to me.   

On messenger we have talked briefly.    At times I see the him I fell in love with years ago and I answer back in the same banter.   However if I try to talk serious he will give short one word or a small sentence reply. 

Weeks ago I offered to put what happened aside and try to at least work something out.   He didn't want to answer.

Tonight I called and asked if he and a friend of ours (in case he didn't feel comfortable being with me) would like to have dinner with me.    He just ummed and ahh before replying "I um don't know...we are terribly busy on the nights you suggested." 

After the call I did leave a message saying thinks for the chat and the offer for dinner is still there,  whenever he is free I'm happy to have dinner. 

I'm to be honest on the fine line of still holding out hope that the relationship can reignite, I'm open to friendship and or think he is done with me.

He confuses me with his damn behaviour,  will banter with me but than keep quiet.  Has offered some sex adventure.    Will see my posts on FB but just like them.    Still  has photos of me on FB and if he really didn't want to bother with me,  why hasn't he just unfriended my profile and blocked me.  I'm tired of his games.

All I want is straight forward answers. 

I want him so bad,  yet tired of the games on his end.   All I want to know is "Hey, I no longer want to be with you,  come collect your stuff. So long good bye" or "Hey,  great to talk to you.  Thought about it lets be friends/ try to work things out." 

Why do people do that?  Why do they dangle or withhold  when their exes just want a simple answer?

I just want to move on with my life.  It has been 5 months already. 

June 01, 2019, 03:41:10 PM
Reply #1


I feel your pain, I am going through something similar with my ex gf. The lack of answer or vague answers just serve to prevent my closure or give me false hope.I can't stand it.

June 06, 2019, 09:19:37 AM
Reply #2


People are rarely honest.  They're scared to tell you what they really feel.  Or they're keeping you on the backburner in case they change their mind.  Or whatever reason they have.

If someone isn't keen and making moves to get you back in their life then they aren't the right person for you.  You have to give yourself closure.  Otherwise, you'll never get it.

I know it's hard, but you have to be the one to cut it off or you'll never be able to move on.


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