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Author Topic: Why did i do it?

August 05, 2019, 02:09:42 PM
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danrich29


On Friday, I took my boyfriend's phone and seen messages and naked pictures of himself and others, I had a little to drink we both did but for some reason, I just saw red, I attacked him I kicked him in the face and in its uncalled for. I can't explain what come over me.

I know I wouldn't ever do it again cause how I feel about myself now, I feel worthless, loveless, I feel like I don't deserve him at all.


The pictures were from last year and the snapchats were just chats from lads, I thought hed been cheating cause he said he got a snapchat from a lad who wasn't who he said.

I got a little drunk with him and I never drink at all. I just need the answer to why I did it and why did I harm someone that a truely did see my life with.

I have had the worse year possible I lost my mam and i felt empty until I found him and then at that moment I thought this is me alone again and seen red... Does anyone know why?

I'm confused, I'm lost Im in so much regret and so much hate for myself for this mistake.

August 06, 2019, 01:50:44 AM
Reply #1
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Roosje


Dear,
How is life now for you?
I know that you go through the motions and I want to tell you that you are allowed to be happy again.
Do you have people to talk to? To vent, a support group, a therapist, a coach, or mentor?
Are you interested in help?

Stay strong and know that you are worthy of everything life has to offer, just because you are here right now.

Love and Light

August 06, 2019, 07:49:37 AM
Reply #2
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danrich29


I’ve tried so hard to find someone like him and I failed. When I found him and thought I was losing him from the photos and the snapchats and I didn’t ask him. The only feeling I can describe it was, I wasn’t me, all my heart I’d given him felt like I’d wasted it, I felt I’d be alone again. I reacted uncalled for. Nothing will ever justify what I did. I can’t explain to him how sorry I am. I know I won’t ever do
It again cause I wouldn’t apologise I wouldn’t make this effort and I wouldn’t wanna help myself. I’d be selfish and walk
Away.

I am getting help for it, cause I think all the anger of my loss and then losing someone else I love was just the tip of the iceberg