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Author Topic: The pain of walking away from somebody you love..

September 06, 2019, 01:08:51 PM
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Ellie


Hello everyone.

I haven't shared my pain with anyone, but I need to take this off my chest.

I am in a committed relationship with my partner for nearly 5 years now, unfortunately my circumstances were such that I had to move to another city 200 miles away from him. During all that time we have been travelling to see each other once or twice a month, until we started having plans to live together and  I needed to finish my foundation year in university in order for me to transfer to another one...I also have a 5 year old daughter from a previous relationship, but she is not in touch with her dad due to child safety purposes. My daughter absolutely adores my partner and he is very good to her, throughout the time we lived apart he was nothing but supportive of me and I have zero reasons to complain.
So the time of me moving to his city was approaching, until I screw things up 2 months before I move in with him.
I met a man who works at the local council and we became close, I was happy that I had the chance to socialise, as I missed going out, trying to maintain a job, full time studying and being a good mom.
One night my parents took my daughter for a sleepover and I decided to go out for a drink with this man, I will not lie I have always felt some attraction to him, but I thought that was normal, giving my long distance relationship. My friend knew I was in a relationship, I was never hiding it from him. I will spare the rest of the details but we ended up in bed and that was the biggest mistake I have ever done in my life  :'( The pain is killing me every day, but worse thing of all is that we both started having feelings for each other.

Every time we met I wanted to talk about the situation, we ended up in bed, the attraction was growing and growing more and more and the emotional connection was something none of us ever felt before. But we both knew that we could not maintain that, he knew I was about to move out of that city and made me choose between him and my partner. I am not going to try and excuse myself, I knew I was guilty in any way shape or form, I should have never let thing go that far, I couldn't eat, sleep or function properly, I stared experiencing panic attacks, as he started pushing me to choose, I felt under pressure so much and suddenly the day that I had to move out of my flat felt like some creepy deadline I had to keep.
I took the decision to work on my relationship and told my partner about what happened, although he was shocked, he said he understands and we will go through this together and understandably I had to stop contact with the other man...
And so the day came and I had to move out of my flat and I now live with my partner, he behaves like nothing has happened, but I am now in a situation where I am desperately trying to forget, but the more I try, the more panic attacks I get. The other man said he is still in love with me and kept challenging my decision, saying that I made the wrong decision and deleted me from his social media.
To a present day I cannot explain to myself what happened, I feel so confused and broken, I love my partner and promised I would never leave him, literally me and my daughter are the only family he has, but I am still in love with this other person, the pain is so unbearable and I feel like I can't move on. It was the pressure and the fact that I didn't know that guy that well, so i didn't know if it was the right decision to follow my heart for somebody I don't know that well, or stay with the person who was always there for me.
I can't stop crying and blaming myself, I lost weight and feel like I am going to get a heart attack :'(. Any advice on how to help myself will be highly appreciated.

I am very sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language.

September 06, 2019, 06:11:57 PM
Reply #1
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Soulmatelost


I was in somewhat of a similar situation with my soon to be ex-husband and then the man I was dating.  I was extremely torn because my ex tried to work it out with me so I was always confused about what way to go!

Without going into details of my own story...follow your heart. If you cannot get the other guy off your mind and that is where your soul is leading you...be with that person. Someone is always going to get hurt in these types of situations but oddly the man that came into your life right before you were supposed to move almost sounds like the universe was intervening.

There is no logic when the heart is concerned.  You can try and do what your head tells you the right thing to do but your head won't misguide you.


September 08, 2019, 10:50:06 AM
Reply #2
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Soren0307


You have to follow your heart.  It is hard to understand why it does say the things it says.  I am going through somewhat a thing close to what you are going through.  Your name is what caught my eye cause that is the name of my ex fiance.  She just broke up with me a few weeks ago.  Trying to follow my heart and my head.  My son loves her more then his own mother.  It is hard on him and me cause I see the pain that she is causing both of us.  She is hurting too but doing what she wants to do.

September 10, 2019, 05:52:02 AM
Reply #3
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ejournalz


 Nice blog!  :) I understand your concern. If you are in a relationship then get some tips and tricks through the visit http://ejournalz.com/category/relationship/.
We are leading news and blog publishing agency help business organization to share their innovative ideas and insights. We post informative blogs which can help and guide you to your daily life and many more.

 

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