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Author Topic: Should I try to hold out or end it?

December 25, 2019, 04:49:06 AM
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RetroScorpio


Been dating for 1 full year as of November. Guy is kind, caring, thoughtful everything I've wanted in a guy. However, after one year I'm still introduced as his friend to certain people, sex has declined to me having to initiate and often getting nothing and when given the option he'll sleep on the couch stating he didn't want to wake me up or he needed space to stretch out and complains that I want to be up under him. He still treats me well otherwise, opens the doors, buys me dinner, worries if I'm too cold or too hot, checks to make sure I've made it where I'm going safely.

I'm so conflicted. I have a bad frame of reference as all the men in my life until him have treated me poorly.

He seems unmotivated to improve his life situation and both of us suffer from depression. We take meds but he won't seek counseling despite his depression being a primary factor (or more probably an excuse) for most of his lack of motivation.

I wasted 5 years with an abusive ex and I'm debating on just cutting my losses as I fear we're going nowhere. He says he's attached to me and shows it to some degree but I'm strongly debating on giving him an ultimatum. I'm sad I don't have as much patience for him as I did for my ex but I'm trying to get into nursing school and need someone who wants to improve as much as I do.

Should I hold out and give him an ultimatum? Should I just break it off? Should I try something else? I didn't think I'd be able to care for someone this much after my ex, he's helped me heal and improve and I feel awful. I don't want to seem like I'm just using him but my friends have pointed out lately I've been significantly more depressed, I feel like I'm unattractive or not good enough or like he might have someone else he likes more that he won't tell me.

This is how it began with my ex and I am not at a good time in my life to be feeling this way...

 

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