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Author Topic: Should I leave? How and when do you have the convention

February 24, 2019, 06:06:23 PM
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Hey everyone
I’ve been with my partner for just over a year. We have a 5 month old daughter together and we have his two girls from his previous marriage, 3 and year old.

I use to get along with his girls great but lately they have been acting out towards me (more so the 4 year old) and have been behaving badly for their dad, above normal behaviour for their age.
It’s making life extremely hard on me and our 5 month old who can’t be left in reach of the two girls. They don’t mean to be rough or in her face they just get extremely excited around her and are under the impression that anything she has is theirs too, her teether ring, her swing, her walker ect.

Didn’t help that my partner who works from home and is outside most the day expected me to watch his two plus the baby from when she was one week old. Yes we needed the money but come on, I’m a first time mum . They are now in daycare 4 days a week which helps a lot.

My partner, I love him to bits but he has a talent for spending money so we are always scraping the barrel so to speak, he will always make sure he has money for alcohol and smokes tho. That part I don’t mind as he works hard but when he drinks he doesn’t get drunk exactly as he doesn’t drink more than 7 cans a night but he says strange things when he drinks.
His told me if I make him wait for sex for to long he will cheat on me despite him being strongly against cheaters. His told me he would go for one of his female friends if she was single, no mention of me or him being together or not, sadly recently she broke up with her partner, his first response to me about it, ‘she told me once before she wouldn’t go there with me as we are good friends’.
He makes remarks about me not being playful enough and storms away and when I confront him he acts like it was no big deal yet he continues to do it.

Basically while I love him as he does take care of me and is very loving, I am not happy. I feel trapped in the house all the time, I know he doesn’t mind if I go out or go visit family or friends but I don’t have the time or money to do so. Those beautiful days his two are in day care I try to help out around the house cleaning, taking care of bubs and enjoying those naps times where I can sit and do nothing and when they aren’t I’m still stuck due to lack of money and usually needing to be around to watch his two.

I want to go for walks at the park with bubs, sign her up for swim lessons, go up the shops just to walk around and have a coffee but I can’t. Because of his two and his plans.

Then you add in his x wife, he always says he hates talking to her but has to because of the kids but then goes out of his way to message her about everything. One night while I was pregnant I went to bed earlyish because I wasn’t feeling well, he was acting odd, coming in to check on me and such and then because I wasn’t sleeping well, I over hear him on the phone and didn’t take long to realise it was her on the phone. I feel asleep eventually but woke up at about 2am due to heartburn, he was still on the phone and got all jittery when I came out to get some water, I never confronted him about that. Just ignored it as he knew he had been caught.
Sorry rattling on, I worry there because she comes up to see the girls from time to time and she makes me so uncomfortable, like I’m the visitor in her and his house, she takes bubs from me all the time and acts like the queen. Doesn’t help that the two girls play up something shocking when she’s around and after she leaves.

I don’t think I can live like this anymore, I need some advice on the idea of me and bubs leaving, should we go? How do I start this conversation with him? Is there an ideal time to have this conversation seeing as I will have to pack up all our stuff to move out.

Sorry I hope that all makes sense
Thanks guys

March 12, 2019, 01:19:17 PM
Reply #1



There's a lot that is going on in your post. I wanted to ask: have you really thought this through? Do you really want to leave him?


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