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Author Topic: She's pregnant with another man

December 23, 2019, 07:54:45 PM
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I posted a longer version of this story, and I received no replies, so I will try to shorten my situation. Here goes:

I was in a serious relationship with a girl for almost 3 years, and we lived together in a house for the last 2.5 years. We broke up earlier this year in April 2019 as we felt we became roommates. We agreed that we both loved and cared for each other, but she wanted to get married and I was hesitant so I pushed her away. She then lived with me until July 2019 when she met another guy, and then she moved out and got an apartment. Within weeks, I immediately regretted my decision. I felt as though a piece of me was gone, and my life was incomplete. I love her, we never fought, we both had great jobs and education, we were on each other's level, we loved our cats, and we didn't stress each other out - it just felt natural. One thing that I didn't like is that she was a big drinker and also on bi polar medication. I didn't like that she wasn't taking care of herself, and she would forget things sometimes which made me feel like I shouldn't marry her. Regardless, when she moved out, I looked past all that. I said to myself that I love her, and through sickness and health, I want to be with her and be there for her.

At first, she said I needed to move on and she was over it. I thought this was weird, so I continued to call and text throughout August and September. Then, late September she told me she was pregnant. The guy she met got her pregnant in July only 3 weeks after they met each other. Very similar to when she met me, she was very sexually active with him, but she said she was drunk and didn't realize that he wasn't using a condom. She told me about it, said that she still loved me, but told me that she couldn't be with me. I was heartbroken even more. This could've been my child, and I really wish it was! We would make excellent parents.

In late October 2019, she finally agreed to meet me. We started talking more on the phone and hanging out, and she said that she had feelings for me and loved me, but didn't want to rush into anything. I was foolish, and I started pushing her and asking why she can't just choose me if she loves me. This was a great mistake. We continued to hang out for about a month, and then in the beginning of December I let me feelings out and told her that I really want to be with her, I miss her, and I asked what I can do to get her back. I know this is breaking all of the rules, but I couldn't help it. She began to shut down. She still answered my phone calls, but she stopped pursuing me with calls and texts. Our conversations became more short, and I noticed she wasn't as flirty with me.

Last week she came over to my apartment, and she said that I was stressing her out. She said I was pushing and chasing, and it wasn't working for me. She said she couldn't make her mind on if she wants to stay with the father or get back with me. She said she loves me and knows I have a lot to offer, but she doesn't know how to tell the father that she doesn't want to raise the child with him.  She also said that it hurts her to see me so sad, and maybe she should wait to break up with the father before reaching back out to me. I think this would be even more difficult for me. He has already asked her to marry him and move in with her, and she's told him no to both. I do believe that she loves me, but I also think that she's in a jam as she does have morals and wants to to the right thing. I have a great career with over $80k in liquid savings with no debt, but she doesn't seem to be interested that I can take care of her financially.

Have I pushed her away and blown my chances? Ladies - if you were 22 weeks pregnant, not in love with the father, still love your ex, but under a lot of pressure and not sure what to do - how would you be feeling and how should I react? She told me multiple times she wants to take it slow, and I didn't do a good job. After she told me I stressed her out, I decided to give her some space. We haven't talked since last Thursday, and she has not texted me or called me. I was thinking of calling her after Christmas just to see how her Christmas was and try to keep the conversation light. Thoughts?

January 22, 2020, 03:24:50 PM
Reply #1


Hello :)

I am not a pregnant girl but still I want to give you comment.

I know there are a lot of feelings and maybe you want her more then everything else.
But actually she did the mistake and if you still accept her you accommodate her very much.

Did you thought about to look for another woman? Your position is for sure one point which is attractive for other woman. Maybe this would make her as well to want to be with you?

I making always to much pressure maybe I am the wrong person to give this advise. But I would recommend that you tell her. That now it is time to making decisions. Tell her she have to think about it 2 weeks. After two weeks I suggest you wait another 2 weeks. If she will not decide for you. Look for another woman. There are so many which want a family and have no man.

Kind regards,



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