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Author Topic: Really confused about the situation, I really need some help here!

January 22, 2020, 12:43:16 PM
Read 1112 times


Hello! I apologize in advance for the long question! :P So I am 25 years old and I met this guy (28 years old) online 4 months ago and at first we just chatted normally once or twice a week.. Slowly we started chatting more often and after a month of more personal communication he disappeared. He came back 15 days later with an acceptable excuse (he had joined the army and didn't have a cell phone) and he proposed that we finally meet. So we met and it was like we've known each other for years, the moment we saw each other we knew we liked each other. We ended up kissing and then he left again because of the army.. Another month passed with almost daily communication and then he came back in the city for good (he was still in the army). We met two times in his house because we both really wanted to be alone but we hanged out like best friends, we chatted, we listened to our favorite music, we opened up about our lives and we were really intimate. I was a little concerned about the fact that we didn't have a normal date after he returned but our schedules were totally opposite so I didn't want to force anything. I really felt we had something growing slowly but in a good base; we wanted to know each other not just spend our time. Our last time together we came close (I have to admit at this point that it was my first time and I hadn't told him because I didn't feel like telling him at that moment; but he realised it and didn't make an issue he was really nice and caring) and after we finished he seemed a little skeptical.. I wanted to start a conversation about me being a virgin (the reasons; why I didn't tell him etc) and maybe about this thing between us (we never discussed openly about it) but his attitude kinda blocked me, he started talking about other stuff and didn't leave any room for me to start talking. After some time he told me he wanted me to stay there (he was kinda sure I would stay) but I couldn't because of personal reasons and we had a small fight.. He insisted a lot that I stayed and didn't seem to understand my reasons but in the end he accepted it because I really couldn't stay. After that he made some compliments about my appearance and before I got into the taxi we were kissing and cuddling. After that day he started becoming more and more distant and after 2 days he didn't reply to my message. I texted him again a week later and he replied that he was really down, he had psychological issues (I already knew about them) and he told me I couldn't help so he shutted me down. I tried to change the subject and tell him to meet but again he didn't relpy. I was really frustrated; all of a sudden he stopped communicating but without telling me something specific. Everything was very unclear to me, he didn't talk or said that something bothered him so I made one last move after 10 days.. I just asked how he was and I wished him a happy new year. He replied after 4 days telling me he was sorry about the late reply, wishing me also a happy new year and saying that he still wasn't feeling ok and he was kinda lost. I said to him that this was clear (the fact that he was lost) and I honestly wished him to get better at some point. We hadn't talked since then and I really want to know what happened, why he behaved like that all of a sudden. He never came clear about anything but we still have each other on social media. I was really feeling that he liked me a lot and I kinda want to short things out because even after all this situation I like him a lot and I believe he's worth it (even if he is not I really want him; it's the first time I'm feeling this way about someone and I want to try everything). :-\ What can I do? Any suggestion is appreciated.  :)
« Last Edit: January 22, 2020, 12:47:29 PM by elena »

January 22, 2020, 03:52:10 PM
Reply #1


Hi elena
this situation you are in is very particular, and i dont think there is a straight forward answer, what i can say though is, if u can sit down and talk to him one on one, let it all out and if he wants to really be with you than he will say so, if not than u must be ready to move on from here on out. he isnt a young boy anymore, if he wants you he will tell you. you said he has issues, so again its a fine line for outside people to comment on, only you know the situation exactly, but my recommendation is that, have a serious ultimate talk. you are a young girl, everything ahead of u stop wasting your time. if a man wants you for real, he will be after you. its not up to you to be after him because if u do ur putting yourself in a a situation ur only gonna get hurt.

February 11, 2020, 03:02:40 AM
Reply #2

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February 27, 2020, 06:40:36 AM
Reply #3


Don't mean to sound rude but to me it sounds like the guy doesn't know what he wants or he is just confused ,yes he is your first but if he isn't giving you attention or time it could mean that he is just not that into you, yes you guys might have shared some intimate moment but if those moment meant nothing to him he will  treat  you like he is now doing , yes he said he had some problems but he doesn't have to ignore you , take the hints girl let him go , how are you going to talk to him when he is ignoring you and replying you   after days … just be strong and let him go :-[

March 11, 2020, 11:19:29 PM
Reply #4


 :( :( :( that's a tough one....just trust yourself and move towards the things that make you happy.....even if it's hard.
Pepper B

March 13, 2020, 02:41:43 AM
Reply #5


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