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Author Topic: My wife wants a divorce because I’m barren.

July 17, 2018, 11:15:53 AM
Read 281 times

sadhusband


For almost two months, my wife and I had been arguing over bearing a child. We have been dating for three years after meeting at dream tours for singles event and married for a year and half. When I told her I am barren after several check-ups, she was disappointed. I know she will be because she loves kids so much and I won’t be able to give her such. However, I did not expect her to reach this far. I thought she would try to understand me since I never want this anyway. I told her we should try over and over again. She agreed and we did. But she gave up this time. Last night, she said she will file a divorce pretty soon. I understand her point, really; it’s just too devastating for me. I want to stop her; I actually did. Yet, I know she will live unhappily with me if I force her to stay and I don’t want that. So, should I go for the divorce or talk to her once more?



July 18, 2018, 06:47:55 PM
Reply #1

Staff

Forum Staff
For almost two months, my wife and I had been arguing over bearing a child. We have been dating for three years after meeting at dream tours for singles event and married for a year and half. When I told her I am barren after several check-ups, she was disappointed. I know she will be because she loves kids so much and I won’t be able to give her such. However, I did not expect her to reach this far. I thought she would try to understand me since I never want this anyway. I told her we should try over and over again. She agreed and we did. But she gave up this time. Last night, she said she will file a divorce pretty soon. I understand her point, really; it’s just too devastating for me. I want to stop her; I actually did. Yet, I know she will live unhappily with me if I force her to stay and I don’t want that. So, should I go for the divorce or talk to her once more?

That sounds horrible, I am so sorry, and don't blame yourself because you quite literally have no control.

Have you exhausted every option?

She doesn't sound like she is taking the right approach here, I am hoping that she's stressed and soon, she'll realise that she's not being nice.

Let us know how you get on.
Your friendly neighborhood moderator.=)

July 25, 2018, 10:16:28 AM
Reply #2

Rita101


For almost two months, my wife and I had been arguing over bearing a child. We have been dating for three years after meeting at dream tours for singles event and married for a year and half. When I told her I am barren after several check-ups, she was disappointed. I know she will be because she loves kids so much and I won’t be able to give her such. However, I did not expect her to reach this far. I thought she would try to understand me since I never want this anyway. I told her we should try over and over again. She agreed and we did. But she gave up this time. Last night, she said she will file a divorce pretty soon. I understand her point, really; it’s just too devastating for me. I want to stop her; I actually did. Yet, I know she will live unhappily with me if I force her to stay and I don’t want that. So, should I go for the divorce or talk to her once more?

It's such a shame that you found yourself in such a predicament and it can be very frustrating having to worry about two things at the same time. Getting to feel the pressure of not being able to have a baby and battling with convincing your wife not to divorce you when she is justified to do so.

In my African society, children matters a lot in the family especially male child. If you are a woman but fails to have a baby with 5 to 6 years in a marriage, you are most likely going to replaced by a second wife.

I hope there is still a medical way to change your barren health situation in order for you to get your wife pregnant so that you both can live happily ever after.

July 25, 2018, 11:41:29 AM
Reply #3

goodevening


I agree @Staff - she isn't taking the right approach here, at all!
« Last Edit: August 14, 2018, 02:34:11 PM by Staff »

July 25, 2018, 12:25:30 PM
Reply #4

jaymish


Very sad situation  :'( :'( :'( However at least now you know the kind of person you are dealing with. I can't really judge because I've never been in that situation, but you should apply for the divorce, and I don't think she will change her mind. Threatening someone with divorce is pretty serious, and it's not like you have to work harder or be nicer, as comments have suggested this is beyond your control, so she has to take accept it not accept it. There is literally nothing you can do about it.

July 25, 2018, 12:40:38 PM
Reply #5

Corzhens


I am not exactly barren because we had tried to have a child. Unfortunately, the fertility pills resulted in ovarian cysts that I had to be operated on twice. My husband was the one who decided to quit trying because he doesn't want me to be at risk all the time. In short, we are childless. But my husband is true to his word that we will be together no matter what happens. But if he was like your wife who would file for a divorce because of my inability to conceive, I would gladly oblige. That is like saying that you should set free your wife and try to find another who would love you for what you are.

July 28, 2018, 10:44:35 AM
Reply #6

Staff

Forum Staff
I am not exactly barren because we had tried to have a child. Unfortunately, the fertility pills resulted in ovarian cysts that I had to be operated on twice. My husband was the one who decided to quit trying because he doesn't want me to be at risk all the time. In short, we are childless. But my husband is true to his word that we will be together no matter what happens. But if he was like your wife who would file for a divorce because of my inability to conceive, I would gladly oblige. That is like saying that you should set free your wife and try to find another who would love you for what you are.

Very sorry to hear that Corz!  :(
Your friendly neighborhood moderator.=)

August 06, 2018, 11:10:17 AM
Reply #7

alymae


I am very sorry that this happen to you. We really never know what cards life will deal us. I know this is very hard for you right now just remain strong. What's happening now is not your fault, you are not to blame. I hope that your wife will think this thoroughly because a divorce is  not easy. I also don't think that you being barren should be a reason of breaking your marriage. There are ways for her to get pregnant. Artificial insemination can also be done if she really wants to have a child. If she truly loves you, she will accept all your imperfections and support  you. Give her time.

 

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