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Author Topic: My LDR recently fell through and now shes sending mixed signals

January 07, 2019, 07:35:16 AM
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An_uppercut


So Im 16, my ex is 15, and we were dating for about a year until just a couple weeks ago when she broke up with me because she didnt have the same feelings for me that she used to. We met because we went to the same school, but she was forced to move a couple states away, but we decided to try and keep our relationship going. It worked for a good while, but I wouldnt be here if it worked out for good. Fast forward a couple weeks of barely talking and no actual progress in my attempts to move on, and we started talking again, sort of getting into the groove of being friends because thats what we wanted to do. One night I'm in my feels, and tell her all this stuff about how I miss her and how Im not over her and so on, all of which is true, but I wouldnt have said it normally. A couple days later she says she still loves me but cant do the distance. Today I asked her for my clothes back (a couple sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants) and she said she wanted to keep them, but caved when I said "I dont really let my friends borrow clothes".

I think the thing about this whole situation that gets me is that I dont know what she wants. I still love her and I still want to be with her but I dont know if thats the right thing to do, so here I am.
Any help is appreciated,
A hopeless romantic

January 07, 2019, 07:36:04 PM
Reply #1
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Forum Staff
So Im 16, my ex is 15, and we were dating for about a year until just a couple weeks ago when she broke up with me because she didnt have the same feelings for me that she used to. We met because we went to the same school, but she was forced to move a couple states away, but we decided to try and keep our relationship going. It worked for a good while, but I wouldnt be here if it worked out for good. Fast forward a couple weeks of barely talking and no actual progress in my attempts to move on, and we started talking again, sort of getting into the groove of being friends because thats what we wanted to do. One night I'm in my feels, and tell her all this stuff about how I miss her and how Im not over her and so on, all of which is true, but I wouldnt have said it normally. A couple days later she says she still loves me but cant do the distance. Today I asked her for my clothes back (a couple sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants) and she said she wanted to keep them, but caved when I said "I dont really let my friends borrow clothes".

I think the thing about this whole situation that gets me is that I dont know what she wants. I still love her and I still want to be with her but I dont know if thats the right thing to do, so here I am.
Any help is appreciated,
A hopeless romantic

I don't live in America, though could you expand on 'couple states away' - how long would it take for you to drive to her? Presuming you are allowed to drive at the age of 16?

I think she just needs some reassurance that even though you aren't physically together, that it can work and that you can still be there for her like you were. She's most likely afraid of being hurt, as she can't see you.
Your friendly neighborhood moderator.=)

January 07, 2019, 11:49:09 PM
Reply #2
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An_uppercut


So Im 16, my ex is 15, and we were dating for about a year until just a couple weeks ago when she broke up with me because she didnt have the same feelings for me that she used to. We met because we went to the same school, but she was forced to move a couple states away, but we decided to try and keep our relationship going. It worked for a good while, but I wouldnt be here if it worked out for good. Fast forward a couple weeks of barely talking and no actual progress in my attempts to move on, and we started talking again, sort of getting into the groove of being friends because thats what we wanted to do. One night I'm in my feels, and tell her all this stuff about how I miss her and how Im not over her and so on, all of which is true, but I wouldnt have said it normally. A couple days later she says she still loves me but cant do the distance. Today I asked her for my clothes back (a couple sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants) and she said she wanted to keep them, but caved when I said "I dont really let my friends borrow clothes".

I think the thing about this whole situation that gets me is that I dont know what she wants. I still love her and I still want to be with her but I dont know if thats the right thing to do, so here I am.
Any help is appreciated,
A hopeless romantic

I don't live in America, though could you expand on 'couple states away' - how long would it take for you to drive to her? Presuming you are allowed to drive at the age of 16?

I think she just needs some reassurance that even though you aren't physically together, that it can work and that you can still be there for her like you were. She's most likely afraid of being hurt, as she can't see you.
Its around 500 miles (800 km), and its about a 12-13 hour drive. And something I didnt mention in my original post is that most of the time, it seems like shes moved on. She posts on her social media about how she thinks othe guys are cute (feelsbadman), but she said the same night she told me she still had feelings that she "tried to move on, and couldnt".

 

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