Some days I go I broke up with my boyfriend. We were together for 3 years.
I broke up with him because I didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. He is a great guy and those 3 years were amazing. But he was always weird with sex. He insists that he doesn't masturbate when he is alone, and he wanted to have sex ALL THE TIME. Even when I didn't want to have sex. When we broke up, I was really hurt and crying and suddenly, he started saying that he would only leave my house if we had sex under his conditions. I really wanted him to go, it was so painful to have him around cause I knew I would miss him. At first I said yes but I was very uncomfortable... When the time arrived I couldn't and cried... He said he was sorry and stop. He stayed at my home that night, he was not going to leave until we had sex. After that, he started saying that he couldn't sleep, couldn't relax, was very sad and shaking. So I layed down with him trying to calm him down, and out of the sudden he says he wants to fuck me. And it was surprising, i was shocked. I was a little disturbed. I was really sad because we broke up and he only wanted sex...
I let him do it because I wanted him to leave for once. I felt awful. I just wanted to be alone. He didn't last much and it felt bitter, sad, because even tho I tried to enjoy it... I only did it because I wanted him to leave... Not because I genuinly wanted to have sex with him... After that, magically, all the shaking and stuff dissapeared. He went to sleep and I went to my room, I was very disturbed. I was afraid that he would come again to my room while I was sleep and do it again. I cried a lot. I didn't recognize him. He used me like a doll. I felt like a thing, not a person. What kind of person only thinks about sex during a break up??? It hurted me so much and I'm worried about him cause this kind of behaviour is not normal.
The morning after he apologized... But he always does that. He does what he wants and then apologizes. It's unfair. I felt terrible. I don't know how I feel abour him now. We are friends now but I'm afraid to see him again... I'm afraid he'll do it again...
I've been crying for days. I miss him but at the same time I can't stop thinking about that. He took advantage of me. I just wanted him to leave....
How do I stop thinking about this? Should I be worried??? I know this is an abuse... I think he needs help, but I don't know how to help him...
Have you ever experienced something like this?