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Author Topic: Just a Story

August 07, 2019, 08:10:17 PM
Read 818 times
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Johnnyboi


Started on a school trip. I fancied her by the end of it and I was sure she felt the same, but I was too much of a baby to do anything.

A few months later after Christmas I find out she's dating a guy in our year. I really liked her at this point but it's clear I missed out on an opportunity.

Fast forward 7 months. They are still going out, we are really good friends, no feelings. He starts getting jealous and insecure. They break up. I start catching feelings. She shows feelings back one night in a bathroom. I don't kiss her. Now I start being sad for some reason I can't remember. There is another school trip, perfect opportunity. She tells me she find me attractive, yesss boys. Im still sad for the rest of the trip, idk why. She was flirting really bad but I didn't do anything. She knows I say I like her, but I've never showed it back.

Christmas holidays now. It's only now I find out she likes me, too late. She's back with her ex. I feel betrayed and I stop speaking to her for 2 months, she doesn't understand why.

There's a party one night where she grabs me to speak for the first time in months. We chat, then one of us kisses the other, she is still going out with that guy. I freak out and tell everyone cause I'm excited, he finds out. I'm an asshole and throw her under the bus. They break up. She's stopped speaking to me now and we don't talk for 2 months.

Exam season now and our last 3 months at school. We finally start taking again. Feels great, I don't like her anymore so we're just friends. People leave school as exams end and we're some of the last people in school (boarding school). We get really close as we try revise together. It's just full blown flirting. Then one Saturday night I ask to go up to her room. We had sex, and that was when I lost my virginity.

I promised I wouldn't catch feelings, but I started to fancy her while we were fliring, and she did the same. We spend a few more nights together at school over the next week. I'm fully attached now, and we really like eachother.

Summer time. We text everyday and we both go on holidays but I don't do things with other girls because I'm thinking of her. She says the same about her and guys. But by now all I can think about is her, all day, all night. Every dream is of her.

We haven't seen eachother for a month. Bear in mind we're not in a relationship.
We have one day and night together, that was last night. I had the most amazing day with her and an even better night.

Saying goodbye was hard, I didn't even give her a hug, just a wave. I went straigh up to my room and cried for an hour. She wore one of my jumpers which had her perfume on it. I couldn't eat or drink and I felt physically sick. I texted her everything I felt and how I couldn't be without her. We're going to different universities quite far apart. I want to try a long distance thing. But I know that's not a good idea for me or her. She says we should just stay friends, in a nice way. Getting over her is going to be hard. But I'm not feeling anything right now. Earlier I was in tears but now I'm just empty. Absolutely nothing, not laughter sadness or sickness. I know I'll be fine, I just asked for some space from her to try collect thoughts.

I've had a lot of crying late nights, and I've even punched a greenhouse window. There isn't any point to this. Just wanted to see the whole timeline.

But if you bothered reading all this, I guess I'm asking, was it worth it?

September 04, 2019, 07:53:29 AM
Reply #1
Offline

ranraku


I feel sorry for you. It was a good story. If you're asking me if it was worth it, i guess you're the only one who can answer that. I personally think it was worth it. All the things you've been through, was it all enough?

You really love her, that's the reason why you cry over her, right?

I guess we're almost in the same situation.
Well, I hope you understand what I mean. Hope everything will get better!

 

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