So I was dating this girl for two years. My first love and first kiss. I love her more than anything and I miss her like hell. She comes from a very verbally abusive family and they were giving her hell for being with me. They started hating me after I made some jokes on Facebook, then they really started hating me when they found a dirty pic of me on her phone. (My ex sucked at keeping privacy).

She lives in Brazil, and I flew 3 times to meet her and her family and all was GREAT in Brazil. Our plan was to move to Israel and I would be in Israel alone with her and her family. They always doubted that I would move, even after 3 flights to visit her. They started shunning me and they started treating her terribly for being with me. They ignored her on her birthday. They didn't go to her graduation. It was bad. The girl started treating me bad as you can see in the pics. Through all of the pressure of moving, the insults and the medicine I was on, I started doing terrible things. They called me lazy, perverted, fat, fake-religious. Her cousin reads peoples energies and had some prophecy that I raped a girl once. Her brother called me a fat baby for not getting my tickets to Brazil quick enough. After all of this hell, since her family is (kind of) religious, I made a fake Rabbi email and messaged the father an anonymous email saying its important to treat your kids well. It was meant to be from some foreign Rabbi. I didn't tell the girl. They found out it was me and I ended up confessing.

Then the insults got worse and I cracked again. I brought a Brazilian phone number online and messaged her mom a really nasty message saying she abuses her daughter and that her daughter should leave her. IT WAS SO STUPID OF ME. They knew it was me of course and then the girl left me. I didn't take the breakup so well and I messaged her again and again. I wrote the family so many apology letters and her brother responded with death threats. She had her accounts saved on my laptop and I went into her social accounts which was really bad. Her brother's account was saved on my laptop and I went into his account and they found out. I went to a psychiatrist who told me that the medicine ruined my inhibitions. It did make me gain weight. It made my grades decline. It made me overly confident with her parents. It made me reckless. Is there any fixing the crazy stupid crap that I did over and over? I can't stop missing her. I know she said terrible things to me, but she was dealing with a lot for me. I can't forgive myself. I doubt this family would ever give me another chance. No matter how bad I feel about everything I did. But the thought of getting her back is the only thing that gives me any relief.

This was all before I began going crazy

Prob not and its probably for the better