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Author Topic: Is she toxic or am I just a weak idiot

February 01, 2020, 07:48:03 AM
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Steviee86


Hey

In August I dated a woman for roughly 6 months. I was the best version of myself I've ever been coming back from holiday feeling amazing, positive and had future plans of going to University to study Architecture. I decided to go on dating site and very quickly match with her. She explained she had just split 3 months ago and her ex was still trying to get back with her but she was mentally single for a year. We dated once a week then in the 3rd week start seeing each other twice a week then by 2 months it was full on. We were infatuated with each other she would jump into my arms and text me all the time. We went on trips and were happier than ever. Even her friends commented on how happy she looked. She even told me she said to her dad I think I've found the one I'm going to marry. We even swapped house keys it went so fast and seeing each other so much. I done so much for her DIY around the house and her answer for repayment was I'm sleeping with you.

So 3 or 4 months in my neediness and insecurities started. I was accusing her of wanting her ex still. One night she wasnt paying attention and childishly I decided to go home so I walked out and left her home. I regret the way I acted and I think that ruined everything right there and then. Since that night it started to go down hill. She backed off we started small arguments. She also was talking to her ex behind my back because "he wanted to see the dogs" they bought together. Unfortunatly but luckily I went through her phone and seen she spoke to him alot over the phonecalls and message and they met up at the beach one time (that I know about) secretly but he posted them together on Instagram story. I saw this and raged at her. I phoned asking where she was and she lied, also her battery was about to die. I messged told her I knew, but her battery lasted for another hour strangely. She said she was going to tell me on the night after she seen him during the day but I found out first, so we split up around November 19.

I gave her some space and while on a dating site in December, she super liked me on Tinder. So I matched with her. Started talking again flirty messages. She asked if it's ok to phone me and we spoke. I felt it was going well over the phone so said I'm coming over! She tried to say no but I went "look I'll see you in 30 minutes" I spent the night and it was amazing. She asked me to spend Christmas and New Year with her and we started up again dating. Her ex had been trying to get with her though friend zone messaging over Instagram which I seen but she told him it was never gonna happen. He got angry at her. She even told him I was with her at Christmas! Things were amazing but she put rules on the dating "were not allowed to see other people or sleep with anyone else" but were not in a relationship. She wanted the freedom to talk to her ex without me having any say. It felt like she was trying to test me and getting me to snap at her. If I was quiet on a walk she would say "you look annoyed, you're not having fun are you? You look pissed off" again I should have handled it differently but I just shouted "will you shut the fuck up I'm fine just enjoy the walk." She then decided she wanted to be single and called it off again.

So... the stage I'm at now is after splitting up again. She first text me "I want to meet other people and see if I still like you." I quit my job and was depressed. She said she cant see a future with me if in on benefits so if i get another job and stay in it for a month we cound try again in a month (February).

I got the job snd said we should meet up. Now she says she likes me so much she cant see me. If we do well end up sleeping together?

Then she changed it to stay in the new job till April to prove I'm not a quitter and if were both single then well try again?

Obviously so after all this I'm an idiot in love. I miss her but is this ever actually going to work is it me or is she messing me about?

Sorry for the long email but hopefully it explains everything but this is fucking with my mind

Thanks

S

February 01, 2020, 02:36:55 PM
Reply #1
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Kkxrina


Hey S, sorry you have been having relationship problems, that is quite unfortunate to hear. I believe that this chapter of your life is one better left closed. There are too many issues in this relationship and I also think both of you are quite childish. Her talking to her ex is very odd and the fact she felt the need to tell her ex you were over says a lot about how much she still cares about the ex. She is quite toxic but unfortunately so are you. I think you guys both just need to work on yourselves separately for a very very long time you bring out the worst in each other, love isn't enough sometimes and there are a lot of elements missing in this relationship to ever make it work.

February 02, 2020, 11:11:15 AM
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SomeGuy


I don't like using words like toxic to describe relationships because all relationships between men and women are slightly toxic. You have two genders that have no compatibility with each other trying to bend each other towards each others wills and desires and it's always a struggle. I will say though that you have girlfriend who sounds extremely problematic and she reminds me a lot of the last girlfriend I had. This girl is cheating on you. My last girlfriend was cheating on me. What they always do is put their feelings and emotions at the center of the conversation. You call them out on what they're doing and they will talk about losing their feelings with you as a threat. They are ruled by their emotions and hormones and they are so solipsistic in this way that they will use them to justify anything. You can't reason with them so don't even try. If you continue this relationship then yes you are being weak. You are proving that you are willing to against your own morality principles and self respect in order to have small piece of the pie. This girl really doesn't care about you as an individual in any sense. If she did she would be devoting all her attention to you and not meeting up with other men. She cares about what you can do for her and how you make her feel and as soon as the relationship becomes stale to her she's going to toss you aside. I suggest you walk away now before this happens because it is going to happen. It's not a crime to be jealous when your girlfriend is spending time with other men. It's normal and healthy. If you have been fair to her and done your best to be a good partner then you have done all you can. You can walk away and not feel guilty for it.   

February 07, 2020, 09:05:01 AM
Reply #3
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Adamsv11


MY STORY HERE IS REAL AND GENUINE. My name is Adams Vienna and i am here to testify about Great Mother who brought back my man to me when he broke up with me because of another woman who he met at his place of work. Great Mother is a very powerful, real and unique woman with special powers. I tried to get help from many places and sources to bring back my man but nothing worked but when i contacted Great Mother, she made me smile again by bringing my man back to me with her special powers.. If you are experiencing any problems in your marriage, relationship, and you have any similar problem to this, contact this Great Woman now she will help you. Here is her website: Ourgreatmother1.com   and here is her email address: Greatmotherofsolutiontemple1@yahoo.com   and you can also contact her now on her own Whatsapp number: +17025514367 You can either contact her on her website, email or her whatsapp number. Thank you Great Mother.  

February 07, 2020, 09:05:27 AM
Reply #4
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Adamsv11


MY STORY HERE IS REAL AND GENUINE. My name is Adams Vienna and i am here to testify about Great Mother who brought back my man to me when he broke up with me because of another woman who he met at his place of work. Great Mother is a very powerful, real and unique woman with special powers. I tried to get help from many places and sources to bring back my man but nothing worked but when i contacted Great Mother, she made me smile again by bringing my man back to me with her special powers.. If you are experiencing any problems in your marriage, relationship, and you have any similar problem to this, contact this Great Woman now she will help you. Here is her website: Ourgreatmother1.com   and here is her email address: Greatmotherofsolutiontemple1@yahoo.com   and you can also contact her now on her own Whatsapp number: +17025514367 You can either contact her on her website, email or her whatsapp number. Thank you Great Mother.  

February 09, 2020, 05:42:58 PM
Reply #5
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Matt89


Sorry but id leave that alone. Thats too much, she shouldnt be sneaking around. You think he just wants to see the dogs? Highly Doubtful

 

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