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Author Topic: Is it normal to have sever anxiety depression following a breakup

March 06, 2019, 06:12:37 PM
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Beesteph


Is it normal to go through depression and bad anxiety panic attacks following a breakup... I’m 35 women with two children I feel like my brains switched off I’m not taking in much going round me, can’t concentrate, feel drained, crying a lot and getting terrible anxiety when out..... the background is this...my partner had become the complete love of my life we was going to get married he was like a second dad to my children  he was with them and me everyday for two and half years and he turned out to be the cruelest man.

For 8 weeks on dec 1st he went off abroad initially to work in Vietnam to be back home dec 21st but he didn’t come back he instead flew off to philapines left us over Christmas New Years and he dropped me and my kids I was so devistated but just tried to make it work

He was so distant talking to me one minute not the next, lieing and stuff he was up all night every night I could see him on watsapp and I would beg him to talk and he would ignore me
I ended up begging pleading for him to talk with me. He did at times but he was lying and so different

I got so low it was awful, in a very bad place just lost myself as he was my world and I couldn’t understand what was happening. My kids were so devistated and sent home from school they just kept crying and the thing is he new all this as he saw me on FaceTime and I was telling him.
He was like another dad to my kids and from the day he left December 1st he dropped them completely . Never contacted them once He changed to another man.

I ended up in hospital through the stress I got so Ill as I have an illness called Addison’s disease and it’s quite serious and stress effects it a lot and he new all this I was telling him but he just carried on being like it towards me, I ended up not eating sleeping lost lots of weight and friends and my mum had to help with my children

So he suddenly came back home to me on my birthday jan 20th wanting  me to be with him he was crying wanting to marry me and I started to let him back in to my life feeling bad because he said it’s his drinking he’s an addict that’s why he was how he was to me so I was trying to get my head round it all and felt I should help him it’s how I am as a person he knows this, but obviously I was not in a good place after everything he done to me and my kids.
two nights later I let him back into my home we spent the day together and my kids were at my mums he was being so loving and I was all confused he slept with me and I started crying as it was all so much and he promised he never cheated and he loves me but I just new something wasn’t right

so I started contacting loads of people on his Facebook and I find out that he had been seeing another women a philapino a bar girl for weeks in philapines complete not just sex but day trips together he took her to hotels out shopping and everything like they was a couple and he was with her at times I was crying to him on FaceTime, he new I had ended up in hospital and everything it was so cruel

When I found out I visited him got him to confess he was crying not wanting to loose me saying he realises I’m the best thing to happen to him I found loads of condoms in his case and bag and
I told him to f# off I hit him and smashed his car windows in.
Since then he’s been upset wanting me back messaging me it’s been so awful so hard I started to give in again, coz I loved him so much he was trying to get us to meet again but I found some inner strength to finally two weeks ago tell him I will never see him again .

I never loved anyone like him I was so loyal to him I looked after him I cared for his daughter. Even during all this I was still looking after his daughter I bought all his families Xmas gifts took them to the houses
I would of been loyal to him until I was old and grey but that’s it now I’m done now as I deserve so much more it’s not even the cheating that’s effected me it’s the cruelness of it all

He new how unwell I was with my Illness he knows my life and he saw how Unwell I got and he carried on, I just don’t no how someone can do that to another human being

My kids have cried for weeks as his daughter was like a sister to my kids
Iv had 12 weeks of hell but I suddenly am getting this very low depression and anxiety. It’s hard as I have an illness that can make me very unwell where I’m bed bound and It feels very hard and I just don’t no how to process this stuff with my ex is it normal to feel like I do Thankyou for taking the time to read this

March 08, 2019, 04:02:33 AM
Reply #1
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Beesteph


Is no one able to reply? Maybe what I’m going through isn’t normal then

March 10, 2019, 06:52:09 PM
Reply #2
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missg


Is no one able to reply? Maybe what I’m going through isn’t normal then

Hey @Beesteph - I just saw this one, my apologies I didn't reply sooner. It seems as if this place has been bombarded with new members recently!

Yes, it is completely normal, however, panic attacks seems a little extreme, which may be because you're being affected by the incident more than others maybe, but what you're experiencing is completely normal. You aren't depressed, but in fact, having the symptoms of depression due to having your heart broken.

I have had my heart broken many times, but the first was by far the worst and I even sometimes feel as if I have been permanently damaged as I was so upset. I actually have a chronic illness that's being caused due to low-grade chronic inflammation, and after lots of research on the subject, and even my doctor said this, it can be brought on by going through a dramatic experience etc. I think me being heartbroken quite severely caused it.

anyway, yes it is completely normal, you really did love the guy.  I',m sorry, but what you do moving forward is very important. you need to surround yourself with positive people, friends, family etc and do your best to get back on your toes. Keep yourself occupied and distracted ... YOU WILL MOVE ON - everything happens for a reason.

You may find someone else in the future and look back and understand why it happened. I have found a new partner since being heartbroken and I actually like him more than all of the others!

Keep in touch.

March 12, 2019, 05:21:04 PM
Reply #3
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libra_moon


Hi-

The real question is what do you want to do moving forward: do you want to leave and start over new or do you want to be with this man still?

It's very unhealthy to let someone control your life like this, especially when it affects your health.

Today at 09:19:03 AM
Reply #4
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Dafleas2


It is normal. For me anyway. Any time that I have been with someone for an extended period of time and they decide to move on, I find myself with this terrible feeling in my stomach that lasts for months. I don't eat, I don't go anywhere, I don't do anything. It's really hard. The truth is I have never broken up with anyone and the reason I date that person is because I love them and I couldn't imagine a life without them. When they don't feel the same way it can certainly cause severe anxiety and depression.

 

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