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Author Topic: Is it important to have relationship closure?

April 15, 2018, 09:47:51 AM
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aecel


I've had experienced lots of breakups. I'm not really good at talking when I'm having a breakup. Sometimes I just wrote them a letter just to end the relationships. My most recent breakup didn't end well we didn't have a chance to talk again we were both so much in pain he asked me many times to have a talk but I was not ready to see him again I'd rather not face him because I didn't want to be hurt again but now it's kind of haunting me whether to have a closure or not just to have a peace of mind.

Is it really important to have closure?
« Last Edit: April 15, 2018, 01:08:58 PM by Support »

April 15, 2018, 01:07:27 PM
Reply #1

Staff

Forum Staff
I've had experienced lots of breakups. I'm not really good at talking when I'm having a breakup. Sometimes I just wrote them a letter just to end the relationships. My most recent breakup didn't end well we didn't have a chance to talk again we were both so much in pain he asked me many times to have a talk but I was not ready to see him again I'd rather not face him because I didn't want to be hurt again but now it's kind of haunting me whether to have a closure or not just to have a peace of mind.

Is it really important to have closure?

Sorry to hear that, Aecel. I think everyone experiences a breakup at some stage, it's part of the cycle of finding true love.

Some relationships are compatible, some aren't, it's just a matter of time before you realise it.

Personally, I think it depends on the situation, however, to me, closure is the right way to go, so, you both know where the relationship stands - i prefer speaking to them in person about it and having one final talk over it before officially ending it.

I'm not the one to stay friends either!

Once you both have closure, reality sets in, and it ultimately helps you move on. I think.
Your friendly neighborhood moderator.=)

April 18, 2018, 08:27:45 AM
Reply #2

erick100


For me, it is important to have closure for someone you committed love. So that if you commit new love to someone there's in no conflict and you will a good  relationship way.


April 18, 2018, 09:52:18 AM
Reply #3

EfficientNinja


I think closure is important to conclude a relationship. I feel that it wouldn't be fair especially for the other party to not receive or know the breakup in person. It would also haunt both parties like it does on you. :)

April 19, 2018, 11:02:26 AM
Reply #4

Flowers


I think closure is important  for both parties so that there are no lingering thoughts which can eat away at one. That  being said, it must be understood that closure in and of itself does not stop the pain -it merely starts the process towards healing if you are willing.

April 19, 2018, 07:06:29 PM
Reply #5

Yannie


I think closure is always important in every ended relationship, regardless of whom initiated the breakup. Without closure, you could be driven by so much pain. You can't easily move on. You'll always be bothered by too much thinking of why you broke up, whose fault is it, etc. You can't avoid to ask yourself some questions that you would think that might actually have helped you in saving the relationship. And you can't avoid to linger on the memories you had together, hoping that it would continue into another chapter, etc.

I think enable for these to be avoided at some point is to have a closure for you to also have a clear mindset on what you must exactly do with your life after the breakup and how you would deal with the breakup.

April 19, 2018, 09:40:52 PM
Reply #6

meinschatz


I don't think it is important to have a closure between ex-lovers. Usually, if we are asking for a closure, part of us is still asking for another chance to get back together. The best suggestion that I would like to suggest is to pray. Pray to God to heal your broken heart to forgive and to forget the person who hurt you. It's easy to say than done but eventually, it really helps.

April 20, 2018, 01:04:26 PM
Reply #7

hushthug


I've had experienced lots of breakups. I'm not really good at talking when I'm having a breakup. Sometimes I just wrote them a letter just to end the relationships. My most recent breakup didn't end well we didn't have a chance to talk again we were both so much in pain he asked me many times to have a talk but I was not ready to see him again I'd rather not face him because I didn't want to be hurt again but now it's kind of haunting me whether to have a closure or not just to have a peace of mind.

Is it really important to have closure?

In my opinion, closure is necessary when partners are parting ways. Like what you've experience, both parties are in so much pain because there's no official closure.
I too had this experience when I broke up with my more than 3 years boyfriend then on phone. I really can't ask him to let me go face to face because I know how will he react. I know that tears will be unable to stop when I'll say I can no longer stay in that relationship and I know that if he'll weep and ask me to stay I'll be thinking twice and I might end up not breaking up with him. It's been 4 years already and we've never talked. I no longer have any feelings for him but I still feel guilty. I still wanted to talk to him and have a closure and just be civil so that everyone around can move on. You know sometimes those who watched your love story from begin to end is the one who's having a hard time to move on. ;D

April 21, 2018, 12:33:44 PM
Reply #8

junrose123


Yes in my own point of view it is really important for a certain relationship to have such kind of closure especially if it is not anymore worth it to have. It is really best to have it so that all things must be clear and precise with each other so that both partner wouldn't have any regrets whenever they will enter in a new relationship.

July 20, 2018, 03:45:48 PM
Reply #9

Lissiel


Yes, closure is important but depending on the situation--like when you caught your boyfriend cheating on you. In your case since you are bothered that you have not given him the closure that you need, then you better go and talk to him. So you can clear things out and empty your baggage.

July 20, 2018, 05:55:35 PM
Reply #10

huggypillows


Closure is not  needed if you know what is the reason of break up. Both party need to accept and learn a lesson from what happens to their relationship.


I've been in love to someone too he is one of my close friend. He confess his feeling but in the end he chose t break my heart even thought all what I doing is to save atleast our friendship but it didn't work out. I regret everything I wish for closer but we never had one until my heart get tired and just take the first step away from him. I get the closure that I want we both don't deserve each other. And our story ends like that.

July 22, 2018, 03:36:00 PM
Reply #11

vashuan


It is very important to rather understand that not all break ups in relationships need closure.  Because, if ever the other one just left with no reasons and never shows up anymore.  If ever closure is really a need, meaning the other one who is left behind has no reason not to move on?  Aside from this, we have to understand deeply that the reason why ex lover never shows up after  he/she left, because if we are going to analyze, he/she can't let himself/herself to confront you for an official break up with us because it would be more painful in his/her part.

July 23, 2018, 01:19:43 PM
Reply #12

RoseKaizer


Definitely Yes! Because closure can answer the Why?When? questions in your mind. Why?why this is happen to us and when can I move on. I used to ask that questions when my boyfriend and I broke up, we have no closure that time so I feel like I need to have an answer with that questions to have a peace in my heart in mind. So I decided to asked a closure to my ex boyfriend and there it happened, all the questions that keep in my mind was answered and I feel relieved that time. I feel free from so many questions and that is the time I said to myself that I need to move on and continue my life without him.

July 23, 2018, 04:28:24 PM
Reply #13

jaymish


You write a letter to your other half to break up?OMG!So harsh. I don't think you need to have closure.I think you just need to pick yourself up, from wherever you were thrown/dumped and move on.It does not matter why the person broke up with you.You matter, what you think matters.Just ensure that you have done your part and treat the person well, you can never force yourself on someone, if they want to go let them go. Just forget about them and open yourself up to the possibilities waiting for you.

August 01, 2018, 12:06:01 PM
Reply #14

orfia


for me it's yes, it's because if there's no closure it means it is complicated. based on my experience after several breakups the relationship may meet the unclosure it's because you both will feel awkward,  you both dont know where to start and what to do. and honestly few days ago that's what I feel the relationship has no closure, he dont want me to forget me but he's ignoring me, he is ignoring me but dont want to stop contracting me, i feel so confused and if I'm asking him what am I to him, he said he dont know he love me but he dont know  if he can trust me again, so for me it's important to have closure in order for you to decide it's either give up or stay with the complicated relationship.

August 02, 2018, 06:34:19 PM
Reply #15

Jenniferdainty


It depends upon the situation. If you are the one who fell out of love due to third party or any other reason, then you really need to give your partner a reason why it happened. If he demands a closure, by all means give it to him because you have to explain your side and be honest. You may not be in-love with him anymore but at least be good person to face him and give some closure. It is better to hurt him with reality than just disappear without saying anything. By doing this, it may be easier for both parties to move on.

However, for cases like your partner cheated on you, toxic relationship, or he just became cold, closure is not necessary anymore especially if you know full well that you did your part to work your relationship. No closure is already a closure!

Don't force yourself to meet him just for the sake of closure. If you're not comfortable, then don't do it because it will just add damage to your ended relationship. Let's say it's the other way around and your partner is the one who is not willing to talk to you, don't bother anymore. It is truly hard to accept and breakups are really draining and heart-rending. Nevertheless, you will survive  and will learn to accept everything eventually. Just be brave and have faith. :)       

 

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