My boyfriend broke up Saturday out of nowhere. We were in a relationship for three years, last month we were on vacation and we were looking for houses. We had a wonderful day in the city, he kept kissing me and holding my hands. We walked to his car and I sat down and all of sudden he is saying I’m breaking up, I see no future. That is coming from the guy who two days earlier was talking about when we were old that he is going to die first because he can’t handle me diving sooner. He couldn't explain himself brought me home and asked me to please get out of the car. I kept texting and calling him afterwards but he was not responding.

Until I got Sunday a message that he was sorry and he was going to explain himself but right now he couldn't because he was trying to get through the day. I was devastated couldn't eat or sleep, kept wondering where it went wrong. Monday he responded that he would talk to me on Tuesday. Meanwhile I boxed every stuff of us together, photo albums, birthday cards, birthday presents and gifts and send it to his workplace.

Tuesday evening he came to me and we started walking around. He couldn't get out of his words, kept crying and he looked horrible. He was saying that he was lost and didn't know who he was anymore. With us wanting to move in together he was confronted with the things he gave up or couldn't do. Before he met he wanted to go to another country, after that he wanted to start a small business with a friend and started a education. The first thing he lost when we were in a relationship, I was still in college and he loved me and wanted to start a life together. His friend with the business started to get jealous he was spending time with me. My boyfriend gave up his education because he wanted to spend all his time in the business. Out of nowhere his friend broke up the business and didn't wanted any contact with him. So now he lost everything that all happend in our first year of our relationship.

The past two years everything went great. I finished college and started working, but my boyfriend was unhappy at his work. Didn't like it there but thought he couldn't leave because he had no education. I kept supporting him, tried to help him with changing jobs or doing a course to help himself get educated. The past year he kept saying he wanted to work at a place I’m working because I can do what I want. He started to get overworked by his job and slowly started to get drained by it.

Now he is saying the bubble sort of bursted and he is feeling lost. Doesn't know he is anymore because he had all those plans and he is not getting any further now with his work. He wants to focus on finding himself and he can’t do that with me. The way he talked, cried and looked to me. I knew he has a burn-out and is getting into a depression. He confessed to me that the passed week he drank a lot of alchohol to numb his feelings. The reason why he also broke up because he doesn't know if he is going to change and suddenly wants to move out of the country, like his original plan. He doesn't want me to go with him because I have a family and a career and he thinks its unfair. Also he doesn't know if he is personally going to change.

I kept saying to him that I want to support him, because he needs help with this and that he also needs to go to a doctor. He is saying he is going to try to talk with somebody about his burn-out/depression. The only thing left is that we are both heart broken about a relationship breaking up, but right now I’m the one left behind. And I don't know it is the depression talking that he broke up with me or if he is going to come back after he figured himself out.

He said to me that I need to try to be happy and after that cried while saying perhaps with somebody else, because I’m not good enough for you and I don’t want you to change.
Anybody can help me with this?

I feel that he's only a little depressed and since he loves you, he doesn't want to take it on you that's why he's asking for some space. My advice: make him feel good about himself again, do favors for him without him asking, make him think and feel he matters to you and you're always there to support him no matter what. All the best!