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Author Topic: I slept with my ex and then blocked her 2 weeks later.

January 19, 2020, 08:32:34 PM
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I broke up with my ex in June of last year. Since then I will say it has maybe become very unhealthy, we have been on and off and slept together twice shortly after the break up and both times lead to confusion on her side and her being upset, she said that my behaviour at this time was like we were still together because I would drive her to work and we would spend each weekend together. we stopped seeing each other in person in September, communicating only by text thereafter. From then It's gone pretty dramatically back and forth with us talking then arguing, then me blocking her then us getting back in touch then she will annoy me again, we will argue and I will go back to blocking.

Further complications to this are firstly that I am her brothers friend and roommate. And secondly she previously had an abusive relationship, I never asked much about it but from what I pieced together he was controlling, raped her, sexually exploited in her in other ways I.e. would threaten suicide if she didnt perform certain sexual acts. Isolated her from all her friends. Financially abused her etc. I think this is in part what lead to our break up, she has a lot of baggage and trauma to overcome from that. She has many panic attacks, diagnosed with C-PTSD and anxiety. And I wanted to be their for her but in the end I couldn't handle it, but I do think she is a lovely person. She is one of the kindest people ever, sweet and funny and clever but when her anxiety kicks in shes borderline impossible to deal with, at least she is for me. She often will argue and becomes over emotional to the point she acts quite childish and some of the things she says can be harsh, but it's a completely different person from who she is when she isn't struggling. And I will say that I recognise how hard she does work on herself, when I met her just over 3 years ago she very rarely left the house, was struggling to find a job because of this, had no friends also because of this and was close to mute, which I understand from her brother, is because of her abusive relationship. In the time we were together she got a job, then got a better one. Started taking driving lessons. Frequently goes out by herself and completed her degree. I'm proud of her, but I couldnt make it work anymore.

The problem is, in December she stayed over at my place for a week to pet-sit for her brother and we bumped in to each other a few times. Ended up sleeping together. After that we texted then a week later went for a coffee. She then text me asking what exactly was going on because she felt like she was initiating all the texts, I denied this but looking back she was right. She then said she was disappointed with me as she never thought I would only come to her for sex and that I probably shouldnt have knowing how she felt. I will admit that  shes made it very clear that she wanted to give it another go and still loved me. She then said I should have at least made it more clear to her that night if I wanted nothing more from it and that going for coffee afterwards and me paying for it made it more unclear. I told her I had already said I dont want a girlfriend and she countered this by claiming I said that over a month before we slept together and she got the impression  it changed as I made the first move thst night, which I did. And apparently I alluded to us trying again soon once I had settled in my new job. Which I'm not sure I did. I just said the stress of my job isn't putting me in the position to have a relationship and that I couldnt rule us out in the future. Apparently I also made a point to tell tell her I hadn't been with anyone since and don't hang out with other girls. Which is actually true, I didn't intended for it to be suggest that we were on our way to a relationship.

I then blocked her on the messaging app we use because I didn't want to argue. She then text my phone to tell me that it was terrible thing to do because i 'should only do it if I want her out my life, not if I'm trying to punish her and it seems like that's what is happening as I've blockee and unblocked her several times. I told her it's simply because she argues with me and I dont want to but it's hard because I want to be there If she ever needs me, which seemed to offend her. She said she always appreciated my support but never needed me to fix her, she then told me that it makes what I did even worse. If im trying to be just her friend and a source of support then its why is it appropriate for me to sleep with her when it suits me. This made me really angry because it implies I used her which I didn't, she chose to sleep with me too. She tried calling a few times so then I blocked her phone number. I feel bad because I know I've really hurt her and I know she likes me and I know she'sstruggling with her mental health as it is. But on the other hand we are both adults and I made no promises. Am I bad for sleeping with her when i knew she wanted more? I am a bit worried about her brother finding out. Last time when we were hanging out with each other (from the break up In June to September) it ended up with her brother telling me to back off because I was giving her mixed signals. What should I do now? Do I need to apologise or should I keep her blocked? Was I wrong?

February 11, 2020, 02:24:33 AM
Reply #1

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