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Author Topic: I need serious advice!!! Is there hope for me doing no contact?

December 15, 2019, 03:54:06 PM
Read 1165 times


My girlfriend broke up with me after 2 months. We were in love, she introduced me to her kids, they loved me, and we were planning a future. And then she broke up with me. I made the mistake of begging and pleading but she was dead set in the breakup and told me it wasn't our time so we agreed to be friends and this is what she sends me in a message: You are such a good person but right now is not our time. I have no grudges and love you as a person because you were so good to me and my children. You have the biggest heart! You are an angel. Thank you for being you. I am a hothead with a short fuse and you know how to handle me. Thank you for not losing your cool. ( end of message)............We have been chatting on and off and all of a sudden on saturday she texts me when she was drunk. Telling me that she is dating another guy but that she thinks of me all the time. She misses our intimacy and wants to be friends with benefits. I denied it because I still love and respect her. She also said that I have to understand she is in a bad place in her life and that she doesnt know what she wants. I have decided to do no contact with her to allow her to miss me even more with hopes that I can get over the breakup and become a better version of myself. I want to marry her in the future and want to do what I have to do to make that happen. She says she wants to be free and do whatever she wants. Basically have her cake and eat it too. I am destroyed because of the breakup, I cant eat, I have anxiety and I feel like crap. I love her so much but it's hard for me to let her go. She text me the next day with this: I just wanted to apologize for last night. I’m so embarrassed and hope you can forgive me for last night. I got out of control and disrespected you and myself and I’m mortified! I’m sure I f*cked up our friendship and I’m so sorry......(end).........I told her she didnt mess anything up but that the truth comes out when you are drunk. I started no contact today. I saw her yesterday just to drop off her daughter's birthday gift and she asked me if I hated her and I said no and walked away. No contact started today. Thoughts??? Advice???

December 17, 2019, 09:00:32 AM
Reply #1


You've been in a relationship for 2 months? Or I am missing something? If you are sure you love her but she wants to be friends then go no contact and if she does call you or text then invite her for evening, let her bring bottle of wine and just be playful, lead to sex. Maybe you weren't mysterious enough for her. She needs to wonder about you and think of you as sexual desire. If she doesn't want to meet for romantic evening then don't read her messages, don't respond or call. She will eventually propose meeting or she will move on and you should as well. Otherwise you will be stuck in a friendzone. Honestly I am in a similar situation but I'd go for friends with benefits, even though I love her. Maybe I am crazy.

December 25, 2019, 01:03:30 PM
Reply #2


I have been a year with my female friends with benefits. Its hard to stay on neutral side of things and see her with ex bf. even as much he destroyed her and hurt her emotionally. I was the one who pick her up off the floor get her self worth. I voice my opinion it just doesn't sink in. That's what makes it hard even tho you tell them how much you love and want them in your life. The door of reasoning gets slammed on me. I don't know Just hang in there I guess.

January 01, 2020, 09:06:37 PM
Reply #3

Confused giraffe

It all seems a bit much after 2months. Most relationships that aren't meant to be don't get past 3 months,then I think it's 7 or 9 then a year, I think once you get past a year you can relax Haha.

Honestly though. . I don't know if the no contact to try reel her back in is a good idea or not.
My partner has gone distant for some reason,he used to text and call every day and doesn't message as much. So I'm trying to leave it to him to message me, but the whole time, I'm waiting . I'm looking at my phone. I'm checking if he's online or even read the last thing I sent him. It's horrible .  And I know that he's not even bothered. He isn't waiting for me to message. He's not checking his phone. He is just getting on with life. So who is really losing out? Me.
Do you want to feel like I am? Sat there crying cause I don't know where I stand with him. The person I love can't even be bothered to be in touch, not knowing When I'll hear from him. If he's in a mood with me for something and as usual I don't even know. Is he just sleeping.

It's not worth the emotional upset. For you it's only been two months. I would say do the no contact to get over it. Don't string yourself along. It's not worth the heart ache

January 11, 2020, 09:09:39 AM
Reply #4


What an awful situation, I’m trying my best with the no contact thing too... Its really rough and I miss them all the time. I hope someone provides a better answer for you, good luck ;( x


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