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Author Topic: I need advice as to if I should message him or leave it alone?!

May 17, 2019, 04:38:23 PM
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So, I (17f) have a person (19m) that I have pretty strong feelings for, and he said that he feels the same multiple times in the past, and I've known him for close to two years now. Everything was great, we both agreed that we shouldn't date cause of long distance but we still liked each other and did things similar to what people dating would do. I've met up with him 3 times now, and everything was great, but, at the end of the college school year he had started to become more distant and I wasnt sure why.
I thought maybe I had done something wrong or he was getting bored, but he assured me that he wasnt getting bored. I had started to get in a depressed state, which I do from time to time, and he then grew even more distant. I stopped talking to him because he would spend hours with other people and never message me to see how I was doing, and that was partly my fault because I didnt message him either, but I feel like he should have messaged idk.
He then messaged me on my phone after like two days and said he doesnt want to be in a romantic relationship because I unadded him, and I realised I had messed up so I told him to give me another chance to fix it. He said yes because he does like me and doesnt want to throw what we have away. But, even after that, he would call me for 5 minutes a day and then nothing else and just got so distant.
He called me one day, and I thought he would just leave after 5 minutes like he usually does so I wasnt as excited as I usually would be when he calls. Indeed, he ended the call within five minutes, but then texted me saying that things weren't the same and that I had changed. I was just very depressed from the way he was treating me, and I tried telling him how I felt, but he made multiple excuses as to how it's not his fault. He said we should just be friends, and I told him I couldn't because I cant just be friends and all the feelings I have for him go away, and he was just mentally giving me a really hard time, so I decided that the best thing for me was to just stop talking to him all together. His last text to me was "please dont hate me".
I regret doing this now, because i feel strongly for him and dont want to let him go. I'm moving closer to him for college (going to a specific college for me, not because I wanted to be closer to him) and thought that maybe he would want to be more than friends once I've moved, and I feel like I ruined my chances.
I thought even though I said dont contact me he would, but he hasnt tried whatsoever and i feel like he never really cared and it's really affected my mental state and I have no motivation for anything. I just want to hear his voice I miss him so much. What should I do?? Should I message him trying to be just friends? Should I wait to see if he messages me? Should I wait for a couple of weeks or should I leave it how it is now. I just dont know I'm just so sad.
Thank you.

May 22, 2019, 02:08:18 PM
Reply #1


Honestly it sounds like he’s a bit of a dick. I would leave it for now and try and get yourself out of the depression that your in. I know it’s hard but while you’re like this you can’t think clearly and make good decisions and choices for yourself. After a while, send him a message to see how he is and where you stand and go from there.


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