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Author Topic: I love her but i need to move on

January 30, 2019, 07:32:46 AM
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koks88


My ex and I love each other really passionate. But i was too needy. Every day came to her and cook when she was in work...trying to do as much as i can. In the morning left candies on the ground and make path to the bed and a nice note under the pillow and on and on. I stop hanging with my friends. Not once i didn't went out for a beer or something in last 6 months. First she said that need some time. Then she break up with me i was heartbroken. 2 days before new year. After new year send me happy new year and i responded the same. Then after 3 day no contact she text me that she needs to hear me or anything because she can't sleep at 1.30. From here i thought that i had maybe some chances and we text almost every day but nothing about relationship. After 2 two weeks i send her again begging message quite long. Told her that i miss her what i like about her all small things and on and on...her response was she is not angry to me but she wants to be alone and that is how its gonna be. Before me she was not with anyone for 4 years. So 2 days later i send her that i am sorry for my emotional message and decided for no contact again. But problem is that i have few things at her (clother, phone charger) should i go as soon there and take it or wait. What would you do? I am sorry for my english..

Also  I need to work on myself too. I do not show my feelings everytime. Sometimes i am angry but my face is happy but inside is war. I should tell everytime what is wrong directly to person but it is difficult...

Now i am reading book of men by osho. every page i read it the more i see my self doing those things or how think what is wrong or wright, what i should do or don't. every page open my eyes even more...i don't love myself but now i'm gonna do on myself, on my confidence...

thank you for any reply

greetings

January 30, 2019, 04:52:54 PM
Reply #1
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TheAntiBody


I certainly know how you feel and I apologize you are going through this.

Seems we are going through similar stuff .
She lost attraction to you . She loves you because of who you are but she is not attracted to you.

Sounds weird but I have an example.
Think about a kid and his mom had to run and check up on him on every single thing or bother him with friends embarrassing him a little bit ( going  deep into his personal life )
I’m not saying you are trying to be her mama but she feels exactly like this kid . And as this kid I would just want my mom to leave me  alone just leave you know ?
You just need to drop every single thing that relates to her and even if it is the hardest thing in the world and you might die still not contact her in anyway .
I’ve heard about 30 day no contact rule. Even if she texts or calls you , you filter her. Showing her you are changing and you are becoming different then before and I know there is some more steps needs to be done as far as communication but if you find this guide it will make her come back to you if you use the guide consistently .

March 12, 2019, 05:37:59 PM
Reply #2
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libra_moon


Just give her time. A lot of time when people say they need space, their partner wants to do the opposite. It's not anyone's fault, when someone we love wants to leave the natural instinct would be to ask them to stay but honestly give them what they ask for. If she wants space, then respect it. If it's meant to be, she'll come back. She'll come back on her own free will and not b/c you have been begging her or forcing her :)

March 21, 2019, 04:22:30 AM
Reply #3
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blackstalk


I think you're doing the right thing by working on yourself. I think maybe she felt smothered and I know most girls don't like that. She may just have done you a favor by being the one who has made you to take a step back and work on the one person who matters the most, yourself. Become and more confident and mature man by continuing to improve daily and I guarantee you that her and so many other woman will coming knocking at your door. Then it will be your call to take her in or not.

You're doing the right thing, it takes a lot to step out of yourself and admit that you need to make some improvements. To me that's already the a huge step towards being a better man

March 25, 2019, 01:54:27 AM
Reply #4
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lucprofx


I've been in a similar situation but mine was a little more difficult because there was an ex involved.
Man in you case you have to take care of yourself first, if you don't love yourself you are not ready to love anyone else, so do no contact focus on you, it took me 3 months of no contact to get to the person i am today and it feels great,and every day i improve myself even more, start with baby steps.
Good luck

March 26, 2019, 04:21:32 AM
Reply #5
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Sbj89014


I know it's very hard, but I think the best way to move on is to have no contact and focus 100% on you. It's very hard in the beginning, but it gets better so much more quickly. You are the most important person in your life! Spend as much time as you can taking care of yourself. I hope it gets better quickly.

April 27, 2019, 12:42:26 PM
Reply #6
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Naycal


Im in the same boat mate, its hard but the best thing i think you can do is go NC for a while and then try to reconnect once you feel ready

May 18, 2019, 06:26:22 AM
Reply #7
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pathfinder


Some times woman need some space. Space to reflect, to think how they want to move forward . Asking for space does not mean they are ending the relationship but it means they need to work on some things. The best thing is to give what they ask for . Eventually they will reach out when they are in the right place and in the right frame of mind. I have myself asked for some space as I needed to work on some personal stuff. In the mean time , I will work on myself, enjoy my me time and get to a emotionally healthy place. Hope that answers your question

May 23, 2019, 07:30:44 PM
Reply #8
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kira.hasumii


Definitely understand how you feel. I was in a relationship for 5 years and didn't realize how needy i became. It wasn't until after the relationship after going through all the pain that i realized what i was doing. I can say that it does get easier with time. Do not force of push yourself, feel everything while you can so that you wont carry the feelings with later in life. Connect with yourself and don't focus on what you can do to improve the relationship but how you can improve yourself. Always put yourself first and be a better person for yourself before you're a better person for someone else because they 2 go hand in hand.

May 24, 2019, 01:34:50 PM
Reply #9
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maxx898


pathfinder, couple of weeks ago my brother had a break up and it was really hard one, and the only thing that helped him, at least mentally - adult meeting website (https://wetandhard.com/), where he found a girl, that helped him to relieve some stress and huge sorrow. After that he recommended this website to me, and what I can say for sure that it's the most valuable social network I've ever been on. On my five meetings with girls I've been on - were successful.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2019, 01:37:04 PM by maxx898 »

May 26, 2019, 10:54:47 PM
Reply #10
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Rachel269


Please give it time and work on yourself. You are so important and time is a healer.

 

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