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Author Topic: I'm still in love and hopeful after almost 2 yrs help!

January 18, 2019, 04:45:21 PM
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Hopefulone


I was with my ex gf for 4 years and we lived together. She claimed she bought the house for me but kicked me out not too long after she broke up with me. She let me come back because I had no where to go and we kept sleeping together and acting like we weren't broken up even though we were. Eventually I move away and we still communicated through text, somtimes phone calls, and social media. We even met in person where she asked me a lot of questions like if I was dating someone etc. She told me she wasn't dating anyone either and that it'd be a while before she does. I moved back in town to be with her. She invited me to stay at her house which I did every other night after getting back into town. We were still broken up so I hung out with her friend who was showing interest in me. I didn't want her friend but I didn't say anything to her friend until we were face to face. Her friend asked if we should tell her and I said no because we aren't doing anything but hanging out. You only tell when there's something to tell in my opinion. Her friend ends up telling her that we hung out and showed her the texts between us. We had an argument about me not being tbe first person to tell ber about hanging out with her friend and she said she could never be with someone who thinks that is okay.  She even said her friend said they felt they could have f**ked me but if that were the case it would have happened and it didn't. We quit talking after that and just a month later she pops up with a new gf who has three children. I didn't know it then but this new gf is the same woman my ex was texting the night she told me about not wanting to be with me anymore. I eventually months later reach out to get my belongings from her house which was a hassle to get at first but now my ex decides to let me come and get it. I hug her and vice versa. It was extremely nice and warm. It felt like she still loved me by the way she held me but I preceded to tell her as we're hugging and I'm rubbing her back "you look good and happy." She responds completely catching me off guard by saying "It's an illusion." & that was the end of that part of the conversation. I was in love and still am I fear with her and now she is posting herself happily on snapchat with this woman and her kids staying with her now. I don't know how someone who always called me wife on the cards she gave me for Valentine's abd anniversaries can just up and leave like I meant nothing. I apologized to her in a letter through email and she reponded back saying thank you for apologizing. I forgave you a while ago. You showed me who you were initially and I should have listened. It's no one else's fault but mine for what I went through. I have no bad blood or spite about you. But thanks again for apologizing.
I know all the signs show that she's over me and happy. I just am stumped on why she would want me to think she isn't happy when it clearly appears like she is. She's not wanting to be with me and idk. I just honestly believed that this was the person I was going to be marrying. Any advice, input, opinions are welcome. I guess talking everything out on here will give me that final closure without having to bother her for it. 

January 21, 2019, 10:15:56 AM
Reply #1
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missg


I was with my ex gf for 4 years and we lived together. She claimed she bought the house for me but kicked me out not too long after she broke up with me. She let me come back because I had no where to go and we kept sleeping together and acting like we weren't broken up even though we were. Eventually I move away and we still communicated through text, somtimes phone calls, and social media. We even met in person where she asked me a lot of questions like if I was dating someone etc. She told me she wasn't dating anyone either and that it'd be a while before she does. I moved back in town to be with her. She invited me to stay at her house which I did every other night after getting back into town. We were still broken up so I hung out with her friend who was showing interest in me. I didn't want her friend but I didn't say anything to her friend until we were face to face. Her friend asked if we should tell her and I said no because we aren't doing anything but hanging out. You only tell when there's something to tell in my opinion. Her friend ends up telling her that we hung out and showed her the texts between us. We had an argument about me not being tbe first person to tell ber about hanging out with her friend and she said she could never be with someone who thinks that is okay.  She even said her friend said they felt they could have f**ked me but if that were the case it would have happened and it didn't. We quit talking after that and just a month later she pops up with a new gf who has three children. I didn't know it then but this new gf is the same woman my ex was texting the night she told me about not wanting to be with me anymore. I eventually months later reach out to get my belongings from her house which was a hassle to get at first but now my ex decides to let me come and get it. I hug her and vice versa. It was extremely nice and warm. It felt like she still loved me by the way she held me but I preceded to tell her as we're hugging and I'm rubbing her back "you look good and happy." She responds completely catching me off guard by saying "It's an illusion." & that was the end of that part of the conversation. I was in love and still am I fear with her and now she is posting herself happily on snapchat with this woman and her kids staying with her now. I don't know how someone who always called me wife on the cards she gave me for Valentine's abd anniversaries can just up and leave like I meant nothing. I apologized to her in a letter through email and she reponded back saying thank you for apologizing. I forgave you a while ago. You showed me who you were initially and I should have listened. It's no one else's fault but mine for what I went through. I have no bad blood or spite about you. But thanks again for apologizing.
I know all the signs show that she's over me and happy. I just am stumped on why she would want me to think she isn't happy when it clearly appears like she is. She's not wanting to be with me and idk. I just honestly believed that this was the person I was going to be marrying. Any advice, input, opinions are welcome. I guess talking everything out on here will give me that final closure without having to bother her for it.

aw @Hopefulone - i am so sorry, i remember my first heart break, it took a while to get over it, but I did, eventually.

As you're here posting about this issue I can see that it's affecting your mentally and physically, but during this hard time of recovery, it's important to understand that it's normal to feel this way. Everyone goes through a heart break at some stage in their lives, it's a normal process to eventually find that one love (otherwise known as soul mate to some). I have been heart broken a few times but nothing like the first - you will move forward from this, and everything happens for a reason. In time you will find someone that you rally like (more than this person), and you will ask yourself even you were even in love in the first place.

I am so sorry, but you need to surround yourself with positive people during this hard time, stay positive, keep yourself busy and focus on yourself for a little while.

We're always here if you need a chat.

 

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