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Author Topic: How do I move on? My dick ruined a Brazilian girl's birthday.

September 27, 2019, 10:47:45 PM
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swissambush


So first love.. it was exotic because the girl lives in Brazil. Most beautiful girl I ever knew... first kiss. She was so cute, but wow her family ruined me. I flew to see her 3 times. She came to the US once. Our overall plan was that I would move to Israel with her and her family -and we would get married

So what happened is complicated, but here goes

She always had a slight temper. Like one time I fell asleep after we ate- when we were going to go for a walk so she called me an idiot and was angry for like an hour.
She said she wants a new BF because I asked if our senses of humor were different. I made her a gift to make up.
One time I made a joke where I introduced her to my friend as just some girl who's following me so she kicked me in my butt and I had to really explain how it was just a stupid joke.
She became very angry because I didnt have our day planned in New York well enough
She told my friend that she doesn't like him to his face because once she sent him a long message saying how she's excited to meet him when she flies to the US and he gave a short text response.
I didnt get my expensive shots to come to Brazil quick enough so she doubted I would come and she became mad
She was also mad that I didn't get my tickets quick enough.. lot of doubts
One time I told her that her breath was bad, so she got very angry and even her mom yelled at me.

WHEN THINGS BECAME BAD
What happened was that her mom verbally abused her a bit. Calling her lazy and messy. Her mom slapped her a few times. I know she takes a medicine because of her mother. Her parents are divorced because once the father slapped her mom for slapping her. The mom threatened suicide a few times. I messaged the mom that I am tired of seeing my GF crying.. since that they all became bad to me. They were looking for ways to bring me down. Like they would get angry if I made a joke on Facebook. If I didnt say happy birthday quick enough or in the correct ways. If I slept late. (The mom checked my "last scene" on WhatsApp to see when I woke up every morning.) If I didnt respond to a text quick enough. If I said happy holidays too close to before the holiday or too early before the holidays... That I'm lazy because I study without having a job on the side. Freelance doesn't count apparently. My then GF literally told me that she doesn't know why they hate me so much.
I told my parents how bad things were getting and they were trying to convince me push off flying to Brazil again until things calmed. Also, my mom was having surgery, so I pushed off my flight for like a few weeks. My then GF was pretty angry at this. Her mom was doubting I would come-like usual. Her brother even called me a "fat baby who cries to his parents and can't buy a ticket without their permission" on WhatsApp. I was also nervous coming because I gained like 40 pounds since the last time I was there.

Whatever, I came to Brazil a third time and things were great in person. I laughed with them.. We had conversations.. Maybe there was some anger over dumb things like wearing the same jeans too long.. or telling her friend that we met on a dating app, but no big deal. I always asked if we could take her brother or mom with us when we went out.
When I came back to the US I found out that her family was really angry that I didn't pray enough in Brazil. Also, I slept in late when she was at work. It was really stupid of me, but I was on break from college and she had work..  She slept late every day in my house when she visited. I didnt feel they were judging me that much.
Then there were some issues because we were discussing where to live and I told her that it might make sense to live in the US for a few years to make money. Israel is a financially rough place to make a living. She is used to being pretty poor.. even in Brazil, her father had lost his job and her mom was a stay at home mom. I told her that her mom can always live near us wherever we go. But this conversation got to her parents and her mom called me to tell me that her daughter doesn't need a fancy life and that I can't take her daughter away from her- she only has two kids.

WHEN THINGS BECAME REALLY BAD
My then GF said that she was watching an old video I sent her with her mom- and in the video I pulled down my pants. WOW. Im not sure why she didnt watch the video when I sent it.... But everything goes to her mom. One time she asked me to shave and in the video I just showed her that I shaved down there. Wasn't even so sexual. But of course her mom saw it. Her mom told everyone! Even her super religious ex husband who then started hating me. The brother sent me so many curses and nasty messages. They called me sex crazy... perverted... His sister wasnt exactly the most wholesome girl.. she did things with guys before.. not sex, but things... We are both virgins waiting for marriage. They said Im only with her because Im desperate. Then they started making fun of my weight. It was humiliating to go to Brazil and be with someone so beautiful having gained weight.. but wow now Im being bullied for it. Its like they were hoping they would finally have something to destroy me with. My dick became a source of international news.
They started shunning me. The girl was fighting for me. They completely shunned her on her birthday for being with me. I had to listen to her crying on the phone for hours that night. I even called a Brazilian bakery and had her friends pick up a cake and go visit her. They weren't allowed in her apartment, just the lobby.
Her mom didn't post anything on her Facebook wall... which is unusual for her- which meant that she was really angry. I posted a long thing about how hard she works and how everyone loves her... but when she spoke to me that night on the phone I heard her mom screaming in the background "HE DIDN'T EVEN WRITE THAT HE LOVES YOU ON HIS FACEBOOK POST"... Her mom got her to also be pissed off at that. Like... while they are shunning her on her birthday? Really? Im trying to help her and Im getting her friends to be with her.. But I didn't write happy birthday the correct way...
Anyways, her parents were threatening to not go to her graduation. They already didn't go to her final project presentation- not nice.

Then one day she told me that her cousin reads peoples energies, and that he saw my energy. Apparent he felt that I sexually assaulted a girl before I was with her.... WHAT??
She told me that her parents were concerned that it might be true. I became a reck, but I love her. I really stopped sleeping and I tried messaging anyone who can help. I messaged distant family in Brazil and Israel. I even spoke to the guy who felt my energy for help. I messaged people who I thought might know them. Finally I told someone who really tried helping me... but this person ended up not knowing them at all! Just same last name and same school.

I made a fake Rabbi account and emailed her father how its important to respect your kids. I tried being anonymous. I thought that if they are dumb enough to believe energies, they will believe this. My then GF was so happy when her father showed her the email. She thought that someone was really looking after her. For a week she believed it, but her parents knew it was me. They also made a fake Rabbi email to sent her something just to mess with us.. I confessed and they were so happy to finally get me. The dad called me a fat snake.. The girl broke up with me, but it was a breakup with a chance for redemption. She said that if I come to Brazil again and apologize in person, it would fix things. But if I came to Brazil again, it would have to be a commitment to stay together. How long can we do long distance? So I told my parents that Im leaving to live with her and we will move to Israel together where I will join the army. It was tough. My parents were crying. Her family was still shunning me.

We got into a few arguments because I was complaining too much - I was angry at the way they were treating me and she was angry at the fake email I made. She said cruel things... like she called me lazy. She said I jerk off all day. That I wont be able to support her. She said Im not a man. She said that she can always replace a BF but never her family. She said a lot of my financial success comes from my parents. She said that she can't wait for me forever. I told her that Im depressed and she told me to go cry to my parents. I told her Im depressed again and she told me "feel better". Which is crazy because I was always there for her when she was down. But since we were 'technically' broken up she didn't need to help me-which is stupid logic. I really started abusing SSRIs.

Then it all ended.
The person that tried helping me got angry at all of this. Since complaining didnt go so well with my then GF, I complained to this bored old Brazilian woman. She sent a message to my ex's mom using her own Brazilian number. I knew it was a stupid idea that would ruin everything. I don't know how I made so many mistakes. I don't know how I said it was ok to message her mom or why I gave her the moms number. I was not thinking. I was just filled with so much humiliation and rage. I read that SSRIs make people reckless... but can I really blame everything on a medicine? I regret to hell the things I did to try to fix things. I tried so long so send peaceful messages- just to be ignored. The family knew I caused this to happen and my ex broke up with me for good. I still don't exactly know what that woman messaged her mom but apparently it was really bad. My first kiss blocked me on everything. The mom sent me a pic of myself to show me how fat I am.

8 months of pure HELL so far. I did psycho things to try to talk to her until one say she called me on the iPhone I bought her to tell me that she doesn't love me anymore. I miss her every day, but I know it would never work because of everything that happened. I am struggling to lose weight and love myself again. I do a fucking hour a day on the treadmill- just thinking of all the humiliation. I am always thinking of my hot Brazilian ex kissing some hot Israeli soldier- while Im here being depressed and eating my feelings. I am still paying off all of the flights. There isnt a moment where Im not thinking of everything that happened. I am so afraid I wont love someone like I love her. When things were good.. they were amazing. Imagine some dude flying to Brazil and seeing a cute girl holding a custom balloon that says, "Meu Amor". That was a dream come true. I never had the strength to trash all of the gifts she made me. If I accidentally see a pic of her on my laptop I will tear up. Everything reminds me of her and I am so afraid that no new relationship will be that special for me. I am off of that medicine, so now I have to deal with social anxieties again. Every 'good moment' I have is filled with depression. Like my birthday, or spending time with my family. I wake up every morning just thinking- "Wow I was in an intense relationship with a beautiful romantic Brazilian girl who loved me." I used to be sexy as hell. Now I just have lessons and trauma. All of the insults.. hearing her say she doesn't love me anymore.. Thinking of her with other fit guys.

I gave her so much. I was always there for her. I made her so many gifts. I spend so much money on tickets. I was always thinking about how to make her happier, but I fell apart over and over towards the end. I really don't know how to escape this hell. If it wasn't for my family or friends I think I would have ended my life. I can't believe everything that happened. Being with her was a dream. The first year we were together was so special. I was dying to marry this girl. So many amazing feelings. So many amazing times for nothing. I know she sounds like her family, but she was a lot better than them. She also deals with a lot. Like her mom convinces her to be angry. She works hard. She cried every time I left her at the airport. She knows 4 languages. She is fun to be with. We would Skype for hours. She used to tell me that I took her out of her depression. I miss her.

 

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