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Author Topic: Heartbroken by sudden break up

October 12, 2019, 11:28:17 PM
Read 1034 times


I had a chance meeting with a guy and I knew pretty much right away, he was the one. He had moved to my area from out of state, coincidently where my family is from halfway across the country. There were so many random coincidences that we just couldn't ignore. He moved here for work a year prior and was recently separated from his wife, she ended up back where they were from. Things moved really quick within a matter of 3 weeks and he expressed his feelings to me on an extreme level that I've never experienced before. I knew deep down I felt the same way and I did my best to reciprocate my feelings. (he never questioned if I felt the same way, we just knew)

At the 3 week mark, he got scared, wanted to take a step back, etc. Between the divorce beginning to start, selling his house/trying to find a new place, and his works busy season approaching, he was feeling anxious about how he was going to handle all of this uncertainty, on top of there being a possibility work could re-locate him. He gave me the standard "you deserve 100% of a guys attention and I just can't give you that right now, I don't want to drag you through this BS I'm going to be going through, I need to clean up my life" - he also went on to say that he didn't expect to meet someone, let alone as he put it "a diamond in the rough" said that I was the best thing that's ever happened to him, especially since moving to where we live, that he didn't think that at his age (mid 30's) after divorce- that feeling like this about someone was possible, he compared our chemistry to a fairytale - but regardless of all of that, he needed to walk away to spare me from fucking this up, hurting me and so he could take care of his crap.

We kept in contact and saw each other the next month but nothing got better. I Continually felt disappointed by him because of the wall he put up, he would call me, text me but wouldn't physically see me. I wasn't worried about him meeting someone else based on how constant the communication was but after a blow out one night, he decided to end it, he left the door open and said standard things about crossing paths again, and to just trust that this was best.

its been 3 months since then, I haven't seen him and I've talked to him maybe 5-7 times.

Generally speaking, I understand that he needed to worry about himself and pick his life up and put it back together. But the thing I have a problem with is all the things he said to me about how he felt, the things he said to me are the types of thing someone says before they're going to propose. The last time we talked a few days ago, he told me there's a good chance he will move home in 6 months. I was able to get alot off my chest as far as my feelings but we just had the same conversation that we have had before hundreds of times. He just can't give me an answer right now, if its meant to be, we will find our way back to each other but I just struggle with that because I feel like if he really felt how he say he did, then everything else wouldn't matter.

how do I move on? why is this so hard to accept?

October 13, 2019, 10:58:57 AM
Reply #1


I am so sorry to hear that, it must have been a rough journey.

I feel that the feeling he had for you could be infatuation.
Maybe because his life was in a mess (at that moment) it was mostly 'negative energy'.
And your appearance is like a comfort to him. (someone to finally distract him from his mess, someone for him to be close with again after the divorce)

I think he is unsure about his life, his path and his love for you now.

He might be divorce, but we aren't sure if he over his ex wife.

Those words that he said to you are probably true (but only at that moment).
He wont give an answer now because he is unsure about his feelings towards you.

I know is hard to move on, but it would be the best for you to do so.
Moving on is never easy. The best way to approach it is to:

- Cut off all contact (as much as possible, at least for a period of time)
- Focus on YOURSELF (do things that you have been wanting to do but did not)
- Spent quality time with your family / friends
- Try to meet new FRIEND
- Embrace the pain and accept it (time will slowly ease the pain)[/li][/list]

Hope this helps.

check out: www.drlovepro.com

October 27, 2019, 04:25:33 PM
Reply #2


Hey- all i could give you is the advice from a mans perspective. If I were in his position I would say that the feelings he had for you were real. But it could have also been from a place of trying to fill a void that the divorce created and moment he started to back away was when he realized it. So he might not have been sure if what he felt was honest or trying to just fill something he was missing. And depending on how his relationship with his ex was going, although it was in the stages of a divorce, things might have changed so he didn't want to commit to anyone else. He probably just wanted to sort out the part of his life that he knew he needed to maintain and build before he brought anyone else into it.

So in the end, I don't think you should feel like its over, bc I'm sure he meant that maybe you guys will cross paths again. Meaning that when he gets his shit sorted and his divorce is actually finalized, then you guys can be something. I wish you the best!


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