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Author Topic: He pulled the rug out from under me

January 02, 2020, 12:49:15 PM
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FreshStart


It's only been a couple days since he dumped me and I'm a mess. I'm barely eating, nauseous, not sleeping well, and my stomach is a mess. We were together for about a year and a half (my shortest relationship), but I really thought he was the one I would spend the rest of my life with. I would always say he was too good for me, and at some point, he agreed. I thought he was perfect and we were rock solid. I had gotten to know his family fairly well and he had met all of my family too. He had been heavily encouraging me to move in with him for months. As I'm just starting a new career, I began searching for jobs where he lives, moved some of my stuff in, and told all my friends I would be moving there. We were so intertwined with each others lives, our families, our future plans, I don't know what to do now. I don't know where to go. I don't have a lot of strong ties to anyone else. I feel lost. And the person I would confide in has decided it's better off not knowing me. I feel alone in this world with only a handful of friends. And it was just so sudden.
Two weeks ago he came to my grad school graduation, he hugged and kissed me and told me how much he loved me and was going to miss me (I was going home for a couple months before moving in with him). Last week was a hard week for us because we were making big decisions about our future and he was calling me out on my anger I have toward my family. I thought we had begun to work through it and a few days ago he said, "I don't think this is going to work." Over the phone. After a year and a half, he calls it because of one bad week? Because of his wishy washy language I put my pride aside and told him I would do anything to make this work. Finally, he manned up and told me it's over. Just like that.
I am crushed because it was so out of the blue and I never expected it and he supposedly loved me. I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him and I knew I would do whatever it took to be with him since I thought he was so amazing. But it wasn't enough.
I'm suffering from random bouts of crying and immense hurt and betrayal from someone I loved deeply. I only hope I can keep it together to study for and pass my test on Saturday, to pick up my things next week, to break the news to all my family and friends, reroute my future plans to live elsewhere, and start a brand new life. Any words of kindness or support or sharing of similar experiences and how you got through them would be appreciated. Wishing everyone happier thoughts.

January 05, 2020, 04:21:36 PM
Reply #1
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Kapowny


Hello..

I do not know you personally but I am so sorry your relation ended like that. I've read the whole story and can honestly not believe that he would end it just like that? I cannot imagine it was because of that one bad week? To me it sounds like there were things within him that he has or had not been sharing. One thing is for sure.. he is or was NOT too good for you.. you sound like an amazingly dedicated beautiful person in the heart when I read your story like this.

Please take some comfort in the fact that we are here for you, you are not alone in this world. I do not know what anger you have towards your family or why the person you confide in turns a blind eye.. that is very immature. But I do know family is important.

I'd like to look at my own experience as of late.. I have also created an account for my own breakup. She left me after 5 years and while we were still working things out cheated on me with a guy that had been stalking her for 2 years. We had a love-hate deeply toxic relationship. The feelings were so very intense that I often cried at random moment, under the shower, while cooking, on the sofa, at work.. the relation drained all my energy from my very core. The moment she TEXTED me she cheated on me, I broke down and 2 days later broke contact. All I can say is that it pushed me over a certain edge that I knew was coming.. everyone has their personal problems, personal goals, personal struggles.

For me it has been a month now since i've seen her last time and since 10 december that there is no contact anymore. I also had lots of anger for my family but I managed to work that out.. I felt in a place that I had to break out from and opened up about everything to my parents and sisters. It has helped me an enormous deal as they finally see and realize what I was and am going through and they show me respect, help and understanding. I put great worth in real talk and have around 4-5 best friends that I can always hit up for anything.. day after day I notice I am in great need of talking about my pain and issues. But it helps me.. What the pain is doing to me is that it pushes my limits, it makes me feel so much pain that I feel alive and it helps me to move on. It helps me to open up, my friends tell me I seem more strong and alive than the past years, my parents and sisters are deeply happy I finally talk after all these years, my colleagues know what's up and show understanding as well. I used to be an introvert-introvert, but I have finally left the place where I was too ashamed to talk about it all.. what we feel and go through is real and you should almost scream it out loud. You deserve that.. you are an amazingly beautiful person and you sound very real.. personally I appreciate that so much. Please know I'm thinking of you and I know the type of pain you are dealing with. Please try to confide in to someone.. it has tortured me to never talk and never open up. The pain is very real but it feels so much better to let go..

When the clock hit 00:00 and it was new year I was on my balcony with 2 of my best friends and their girlfriends.. We looked at the fireworks and I started to cry so hard. But they all hugged me and that did so very much to me. If you feel like talking more or reacting please do so.. I'm just trying to relate here and hope I can be of some help.

Don't do whatever it takes to get him back. The human mind is psychologically twisted, you deserve better. Start with listening to your heart and your inner core and see your family and friends and talk. Cry and let it out.. and let me know how it went..

Much love and understanding from a stranger :)

 

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