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Author Topic: He broke up with me. We have a child.

June 21, 2019, 08:35:21 AM
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Scorpiobabe


So three weeks ago my boyfriend of about two years broke it off with me. He said that he was unhappy and that I wasn't the one for him. It crushed me so deeply and I'm struggling to pick up myself and carry on. We have a one year old child together who just started walking.  I should be happy for this is a big milestone but this break up is hindering me from it. We got together when my first child was about 9 months old. I was just getting over that relationship with that child's father. It didn't work out between us because of the distance between us and at the time I couldn't move.

I already knew my EX from my high school years and we have had a fling or two in the past but we stopped talking to each other because I developed feelings for him and told him and he did not feel the same.  That left me crushed but i eventually got over it. We started back talking years later on social media after I had my first child.  We talked here and there and soon started meeting up to hang out. He would start becoming consistent and this scared me because I didn't want to be hurt again so I didn't really want to become close. He then told me he was starting to have feelings for me all over again and I gave in and we kissed. That night i had a dream that things between he and I wasn't going to work out and I woke up feeling indifferent. The next day I texted him and explained the dream and how I didn't think I was at a good place to be with anyone.  He got sad and I told him we could be friends.  The next few days he texted me back saying how he can't get me out of his head and how he really want to try and that he doesn't want to be just friends and that he wants more. I thought he really wanted me so We officially became a couple.  The next few months was Amazing! We took our first trip to the beach. He treated my first child like she was his own. I began to fall in love with him at this point and i felt he was in love too. A month later, i discovered i was pregnant  and was shocked to tell him because I didn't know how he would feel. He wasn't too excited but he eventually grew to the idea.  He had stated that he had big plans for the future and kids were to be wanted later in life. Despite my feeling that he felt trapped, he made sure i had an amazing pregnancy. He was there for me. Then after i had the baby things started to slow down. He had got accepted into Dental hygiene school and i seen him less. He would always appear tired and depressed.  Then the loss of both grandparents made him lose focus and he had to drop out. He still continued to work part time on the weekends. I was struggling with the baby but i had help from family members.  I began to feel that this was all too much for him and that this wasn't what he wanted.  We talked and he was like he still loves and care about us so he did not want to give up. I tried my best to encourage him and show him how much i loved him. The emotional connection between us lessened. He didn't talk about his feelings anymore.  He grew distant, and when he was around we couldn't communicate properly.  I felt like He was depressed but he wouldn't not admit it. His texts lessened. Calls lessened. I remember going to sleep one night and awake feeling like something just wasn't right.  I reached out to him and he just told me that he couldn't do this anymore and that he wasn't happy. I asked was it me, and he said no and that he doesn't see a future with us anymore.  I was heartbroken.  I felt unwanted.  I still feel hurt.  We have a child between us and he said that he just wanted to be a good father to our child.  I let him go. At times i feel anger for him because I've been feeling like this was too much for him after the time i had the baby.  I feel 2 years of my life wasted.  I feel like no one will want me because I have two kids.  I'm still young but I'm crushed.  At times i feel like ive moved on but Then i think about why was all that necessary if we weren't going to end up with each other. We only contact each other about the child and I decided to unfriend him on all social media to focus on myself.  He wanted to remain friends but i told him no and that it would take me some time. How do I go on from this?  How do I move forward without getting with anybody else to ease the pain?

 

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