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Author Topic: Getting ex boyfriend back, mentally draining

November 26, 2019, 07:33:53 AM
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Hello! My bf broke up with me approximately one month ago which was largely due to extreme stress in both our lives which took a toll on our relationship as well as him not feeling the same anymore. Firstly, I know that a lot of people believe that going back to an ex is never a good idea. However, I think that you owe it to yourself to at least try if they are someone special and as long as the other person is open to having you in their life. Believe me, I have been through my fair share of heartbreaks with people I thought were the one but it really does feel different this time. We have been in contact via text pretty much everyday since the breakup and we have seen each other one on one recently which went very well as I felt there was still something there. My problem is that I overanalyze (when the texting turns dry or I dont get a reply quickly) and get impatient which makes it hard to control my emotions and think rationally. (I never express this to my ex as I know that would be toxic and hurt our chances). This is causing stress in other areas of my life and I am looking for ways to manage it as I do not believe in No Contact. I guess I need some uplifting words or advice from people who have been in a similar situation.

December 03, 2019, 07:26:09 PM
Reply #1


I don't think there's anything wrong with trying. Honestly I think you need to get some time in person and just talk. If there's a connection you should be able to talk about how you feel. Just keep the conversation civil and remember not to seem desperate or try any tricks.
If you want to be back together simply explain that you still have feelings and that you want to discuss what happened, why it happened and if it can be mended. Maybe he'll say no and you get some closure, maybe he'll say yes. Bit you'll only know by being honest and open.

December 08, 2019, 05:43:46 PM
Reply #2


Should you try to get back with your ex girlfriend just because you feel you can't live without her?

You feel your life is not complete and that you can't live without her. You are going to find it very difficult to get back with your ex girlfriend, but the task you have set yourself is not necessarily impossible. It is going to take a certain reflection about yourself and the relationship. You have to start by making sure that it is the right thing for you to get back with your ex.

When thinking about why you want to get back with your ex girlfriend you need to find the answers to certain questions. Why did you decide to break up? If you were responsible for the break up look at what it was you did. Were you being selfish? This is never very easy to do but you can examine the actions you took and decide if they were those of a selfish person. If they were, you must figure out whether or not you have changed, as you have to be certain you have learned your lesson and are no longer so self-centered. Is your desire to get back with your ex, just the result of your own selfish thinking?

Before trying to get back with ex girlfriend, you must be certain that getting back together will be beneficial for both of you or else the chance of succeeding is going to be very remote. If your objective is only to fill the void created by the break up this may not be satisfactory for your ex. You will have to live with the consequences of your selfishness. You must be aware that, if getting back together again isn't good for both of you, the new relationship is likely not going to be a success

Where the break up was caused by her behaving selfishly, you need to be sure that she has either changed or will change. Look at how she behaves now and decide whether she is sorry about how she behaved and is trying to do better than before. If you are sure she is, you have a good chance of getting back together If she still acts out of selfishness and this could be harmful to a new relationship you have serious difficulties.

However if you can see major reasons that convince you she has stopped behaving in this way, you are probably right in wanting to get back with your ex girlfriend.. You have to see that that she is done looking out for only her self-interest and is more interested in creating anew relationship that will be positive for the both of you.

Whatever happened, you must be certain that you are both working towards the same objective that will act in the best interests of you both. If this is not the case, your new relationship is not likely to last very long. If you truly believe that you both are done with being self-centered and are really prepared to work on the relationship for the common good then you may be doing the right thing in wanting to get back with your ex girlfriend.

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