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Author Topic: Getting ex back - Beating the competition.

February 06, 2019, 08:31:14 PM
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brokenheart


I was together with the love of my life for 2.5 years (half year together, and 2 years long distance). She is 24 and I am 28.

We had an amazing relationship despite long distance (which is hard for any couples). I saw her in person once a month and we texted everyday. We had a very deep connection and knew everything about each other. We had only 6 month left of the distance and was planning to move somewhere together. We had already talked open about future together and she was giving me small hints about kids and marriage. I also met her parents during the new years, which is a big thing  in her country. She is Slovakian and I am Norwegian.

We had a good relationship and I was very good to her. She was going abroad for 7 months and it was gonna be our last obstacle. Unfortunately she broke up with me 14 days ago. Only two weeks before traveling. She told me she needed to be alone and find her priorities in life. She also said her feelings was not as strong as it used to be. She also apologized for hinting towards a future together. It was because she thought she wanted that and she was affraid of disappoint me. I made it clear to her that I only want her. And all talk about family can wait.
I was hearbroken... but I had to respected her desicion. I wanted to give her time and space in order for her to change her mind.

I recently found out she had been texting a guy while being together with me (a friend). My ex and I where talking every day before breaking up and I know her schedules and routines. Im very sure they havent met many times (he is also from another town) and they have only been texting. Realistically, they can have been texting for a month only. Yesterday I found out that she had spent 3 days with him before traveling. I confronted her, and she said she didnt know if she had feelings for him. Still I fear she has a little crush.

Im pretty sure they will keep the a texting relation. Therefore my question is: What kind of deep romantiic relations can be created and maintained by text only? There is a huge time difference involved and she is gonna be very busy during work. I hope our connection and memories will make her miss me, but I fear he is taking her focus away from missing me. I really hope their connection will end in a few months.. I really want this girl back and have started NC in order for her to miss me. I really hope I can win her back, and I would also appricate some tips on how i can "beat this competition"
« Last Edit: February 06, 2019, 10:49:39 PM by brokenheart »

February 07, 2019, 02:20:07 AM
Reply #1
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winstonjack


This is a tough one. I'm sure when she said what she said about you two having a future together that she meant it at the time. Her reason for saying otherwise now is to find an easier way to beak it off. If there is a bond between her and this other guy, it has more to do with how he makes her feel rather than how they communicate (texting). There are a lot of possibilities here so without knowing the people personally it isn't easy to say what it is. But let me use an example:

1. Lets say you made her feel secure, comfortable and she knew she could rely on you. Things she thought she wanted at the time.

2. This other guy comes along and makes her feel sexy, uncertain about him, excited about the possibilities, etc.

In any case, how he makes her feel, at least for now, is what she thinks she needs or wants in her life. What should you do? Be yourself. Don't change. Only she can decide if she wants door number 1 or door number 2.

I will say be positive. Always make her feel good with every encounter you have with her. Forget logic. Emotions are ruling the day. Don't think buying flowers, gifts, etc will be a feel good moment. If all that does is make her feel guilty, that isn't a positive feeling. IF there is a chance of winning her back it will be because she prefers how you make her feel over the other guy. If you are steady, on course, patient, he may stumble but you will always be there for her and she knows it - no wait - she feels it. Women feel, keep that in mind.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2019, 02:22:34 AM by winstonjack »

 

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