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Author Topic: dont know what to do at this point

October 11, 2018, 09:15:23 AM
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I was talking to this girl for about a month before we started really dating. before we dated she was also talking to another guy that was long distance and also a really good friend of hers that she said she and he had through the friendship had started to have feelings towards each other. she had also just recently got divorced from her ex husband 2 months before that. she was married for 3 years. she never wanted to commit to me cause she didnt know where this friend and her were going to end up and she said she still was having emotions from her divorce. i gave her the time and space she needed never pushing.

well we started to hang out more and more it got really intense and to my surprise she told her friend that what they had would not and pry never work and that she had met me wanted to see how things would turn out. she would tell her friends how wonderful i was tell my friends the same thing. she was talking about future things we would do (example how in the winter i would need to put extra blankets on the bed or just know i would have to hold her all night. and even planned a weekend getaway for us.

i went away for about 4 days for business and she stated the fact that she missed me.i know for a fact she was not with anyone during that time she may have talked to her friend but nothing else happened during my trip. her saying she missed me after 2 days of being gone completely came to me as a surprise. she was so excited to see me when i got back and we had a wonderful evening on thursday night. cooking together and talking and everything was great.

i had my daughter that weekend and it was her birthday. i invited her to the event knowing she would not come cause it was to soon for her to meet my daughter. which is fine and i understand that. she thanked me for the invite. but something that weekend happened.

she told me that monday that she had a very emotional weekend dealing with her ex husband and she had called her friend and they talked about it and she didnt want to call me with the issue cause i had my daughter and she wants to be the happy fun part of my life and not the downer with problems that are not mine. i told her she can always call me anytime she wishes. i am here for her. she told me that her and her friend talked about the issue and also about me. she told me on monday night that it would be so easy to continue where they left off but she does not want that. she wants to see where this goes. we discussed the up coming weekend and what we planned to do on our getaway. what time to leave and looked up things to do there.i wanted her to have some space the rest of the week so i waited for her to text me first. after her ordeal from the weekend i figured she would want that. so i tried my best not to message her to much or call to much. on tuesday though i did ask her if everything was alright cause my gut told me something was up and i am very open and wanted to make sure she was okay. i wasnt concerned about us. just wanted her to know i noticed something and that i was there for her.

she told me she was alright and it was just the weekend issues and she was over them. that i didnt have to worry about her but thanked me for my worry. i told her i care about her and will always worry. she said she appreciated that. the rest of the week i stuck to just letting her have her space she would text me about the upcoming weekend and good night and hope you have a good day at work or night. on thursday i let figured i would not bother her since it was her day off. but around 8 at night i sent her a message saying i hope you had an amazing day and have a great rest of your night. i said i will talk to her tomorrow or will see her tomorrow night when she gets done work. about an hour later she surprised me by texting me telling me that this was hard for her to do but told me that she could not see me anymore. that she had decided to go in a different direction. she said i know your not stupid and could tell something wasnt right. she said that i was a wonderful man and thanks for the understanding and patients in everything and always being there for her. and to take care of myself. i did not argue or say anything i was feeling. i said okay and said i wish you the best on your decision. this was completely out of the blue.

we had not fought or argued or had anything happen that would cause this to happen. she was during that week a bit distant. but i assumed it was from the weekend happenings. I text her the next morning told her good morning and that i had all her belongings with amount to a pair of shoes and some other little items were on the counter for her to pick up and please drop my key off. she responded and said will will be over to get them. later that early evening she text me and said she would not be able to come get her things cause she had been busy all day. and that she would come get them as soon as possible and would be quick about it. she works nights on tues wed fri sat and i work days everyday. and nights on mon and sat.

i waited a week but she had still not come to retrieve her things i had not heard from her either. so i sent her a message. the reason i messaged her is cause i had something funny happen to me and it was something that had happpened when she and i were together. she text me back right away said lol thats funny and asked how i was doing. i told her i was doing well. which we all know i was not. i did not ask her how she was. i told her another story about my daughter seeing her shoes (that are still at me house) and saying that she wanted those shoes. i told her my daughter might steal her shoes. she responded with what shoes. i said the silver ones still at my house. she said yep. and then said i have been very busy lately....i apologize. (upside down Smiley face) she then said at some point in time i will be over to get my stuff. i never responded and it has been 4 days since that has happened and her stuff still remains.

i dont understand how this all came about how it happened. what happened. why she is being so vague in the reason for not seeing me anymore. i have never given her a reason not to be straight with me. and she has been straight with me on everything else. some people will say that she didnt want to hurt me but she is not stupid either and knows that would hurt more. but why not be now. if she went for the other guy the friend then why not just tell me. obviously we both know it was possible. if she wanted to be on her own then why not just say that. knew that was possible as well. but none of it makes sense cause of her words and actions before it all happened. i mean pretty much the only thing this girl didnt say was i love you when we were together and i wouldnt expect that for a long time. Why would she not want to finalize the breakup and get her things. so easy with no confrontation just grab and go. i am just at a loss as to what this all means i have tried to figure it out and at every turn i see why it is not that.please let me know what you all think. thanks

October 11, 2018, 03:48:48 PM
Reply #1


Aw, bless, I do hope you get some answers soon. tbh, I'm not so great with giving relationship advice as my relationship isn't working either but i do hope u get you reassurance soon!  :-\


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