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Author Topic: Devestating complicated different relationship

January 30, 2019, 11:56:52 AM
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First of all hello to everyone and thank you very much for investing time to listen it is very nice of you.

I am not the type that usually go to public forums and share his struggles in life , I just feel for the first time ever that I need to write things out and get an approval that I did alright.

I want to mention that my English is fair but not great so I apologize for mispronouncing correctly.

Me and my girlfriend met at the mall 2 years ago.
We both worked there.
She used to pass by my store and say hey to me every once in a while. What basically happened is that her husband who was her first real love devorced her through a text message 2 days before Christmas Eve  which is horribly bad. She was  seeking for an immediate relationship and tried to get me into going out with her.  the fact that I might be the only guy that refuses her offer made her keep going on till I gave up and agreed to it. We went on a first date on Christmas Eve 2016.
She liked me , I liked her.
We kept seeing each other and getting closer from
A time to a time considering she is liking my support and being listened to her divorce struggles.
I lived by my self and she lived with her best friend , so she used to stay at my house a lot and we had great time together. After the first 1-2 months that we are seeing each other a lot I started to have feelings. I also noticed that she is not fully committed but going out with more guys and it became a habit. I used to look at her phone and see she is flirting Bradley with other guys and going out to bars and get drunk ( what she never done before) and it hurt me a lot. We got to plenty of fights that I wanted her to leave me but she always “ wanted “ me back because I’m different and she don’t want me to be with other girls. It kept going over and over again. I was treating her super nice like a princess and taking her on amazing valentines she never had before but always had this stomach feeling that she is not in my mind set but we have feelings and mines getting stronger. We broke up 2 weeks before her birthday , I realized I’m the rebound and it hurt me a lot , she felt bad for me but always said she can’t help it.
It’s been almost 4 months since we met. Day before her birthday she came to me saying she wants to talk and asked me to be her boyfriend , I couldn’t hide me being surprised and I also couldn’t resist her offer for some reason. I surprised her for her birthday and tried make her feel as special as possible. We started living together at my house and she even moved all her stuff from her best friends house to my house include her loved cat.
We kept a relationship some how more committed then before but I still felt that something is wrong because I always found things I don’t like about her such as going to house parties and talking to other guys. It developed a series trust issues. Felt like the fights brought up an amazing making up sexy everytime that made us more attracted to each other .
I have to mention she is a type that don’t like giving in fast and not having challanges in her life , I was working in retail and used to flirt with girls a lot and I have the look of a “player” what attracts her a lot but she started to get used to the fact that I always will take her back especially when she is resided in my house and I don’t have the courage to through her out because I wasn’t raised like that ( I’m a different colture)
We kept living together and dating and her being more committed and less worried about her divorce.
I took her to a vacation and we had a lot of fun. It was somewhere around October. But when we came back I found out she is hanging out with a new guy who kinda reminded her of her ex ( he was tall like him ) and it broke my to pieces . She broke up with me telling me she needs something else . The funny part is that she never wanted to give up on me either and always wondered where i am at and still live at my house . I felt I’m sucked to her manipulations and stories and she is the only one enjoying it. I found out a year later she was having two relationships at a time . She had sexual with me and him.
It was being like that for a month or even two months . But she found out he cheated on her and came back to me fully committed . Since we live together and I wanted her bad I was experiencing a huge amount of trust issues but she just knew how to get me every single time , using my kindness as well . We did Christmas together .
Following year she quit her job and was kinda dependent on me ( I won a business and I make fair living from it)
Months by months she is getting used to not doing anything and I’m the only one doing things at the house and outside. She tried working with me but it caused as more problems.
I used to come home from work and complain and fight almost everyday . She haven’t even took care of her own responsibilities like picking up her cloth from the floor but I am the one that
Pays the bills and do everything what brought me to fights of breaking up almost every time we fight and telling her to leave for good . It went on and off for the first 4-5 months.
Then she found a job outside the states . Something that she was looking into because we thought about moving out from there ( she never traveled before ) . So she applied and surprisingly she got approved . I was still having a business at this time so I could t do anything . She left to work in Alaska and we somehow agreed on keeping this relationship in long distance . It was hard I remember I had all my trust issues but I’m Madley in love with her plus our attraction to each other was something couldn’t explain. I was struggling at home by myself and she was working 13 hours a day but also meeting new people over there and going to hang out in other peoples houses . Some how I found out out of no where that one night something is wrong and between rooms 15 hours flight from me I discovered she kissed a guy . It blew my mind off and I decided to break up . She was heart broken and cried . I told her it’s iver or she needs to figure out what’s more important for her me or this job. She also heard From me I’m moving to a nicer place . It’s been a month since she left me and she came back home day before I moved in to my
New house . We tried to work this relationship certainly more committed then ever but still having the usual problems of not compromising and sacrificing in even way .
She was unemployed for 5 months her car got repossessed and her credit card bills went crazy . So she decided to leave for this job again now in a different place called
Virgin Islands where there is beach and sun everywhere.
She did it day before Black Friday and we agreed on breaking up for good and wishing each other luck . It took her almost a week to call me back and say she wants to get back together.
We did but I explained her she needs to compromise and communicate. Weeks passed and we started to get in fights again breaking up and getting back together almost everyday . She was still going out and hanging out with other people but struggle to maintain a relationship with me because “ I’m
Freaking out she is doing something bad “ obviously because my trust issues . She also was worried I’m doing something And it bothered her a lot as well . She went on a boat Party and stayed the night as well and her phone was off and just two days later she told me about it and it blew my mind off and I decided to break up again . She was crying and calling me later on telling me she will do what needs to be done to keep this relationship so I told her commitment and compromising. Weeks passed with some fights till a week ago . She had problem with her landlord and she probably needed to move out so she looked for an second option . A co worker who is gay was a friend of hers and offer her to come stay with him till the season ends.
 he has another roommate at the house who is straight but is fully committed to his long distance gf. She told me everything and how she thinks it is great idea. She went out the same night and texted me letting me know what’s going on and what will happen the next day that they are planning to go on a co workers trip for a day . It got canceled and she stayed at home trying to reach me and I told her I might for once go out amshe didn’t like that and she decided to go out because I said I will go . My plans got canceled and I was worried about her trying to contact her and she responded but giving me attitude I didn’t like I tried to stay calm and text her that I
 Just worried and want her to text me back she haven’t yextes for a while I got mad and blew on her for not being responsible and committed and communicate . She texted me the next morning about how she was going out and answering my phone calls and being fine and she can’t help my plans got canceled and it pissed me off especially when we agreed for the last time to work on the. Ommitment and communicating part . I haven’t spoken to her for a day . She texted me why I’m not talking to her for so long . I kept not talking to her for another day maybe she will understand I’m pissed and she needs to call me to clarify things but instead I’m getting morning Snapchat’s . I’m not her friend I’m her
Boyfriend she knows something is wrong why she snaps me and not texting or calling me to dicuas about serious problem . I haven’t spoken to her another day , next morning she snapped again so I deleted her from
Snapchat . I had tinder in case I want to see if she is doing something . Well for the first time this day ( 2 days ago) I found out her on tinder and it blew my mind off I cursed her out and she replied that I haven’t spoken to her in days and she loves me but she can’t deal with ignorance and especially when I deleted her from
Snap her co worker ( the gay guy ) told her to move on so
That what she did . I texted her a long text explaining about how I was never wrong never had a reason to doubt me cheating on her because she mentioned that while I didn’t talk to her for few days , and how other mand tell her what to do not knowing our weird relationship maybe he did us a favor but she broke my heart and I wished her to be happiest then ever from the bottom of my heart and happy Valentine’s Day. She haven’t responded fed to this message for the first time , I assume because her co worker friend guides her and support her emotions . And now I’m heart broken devestated and I don’t know what to do . I want her back I want her to grow up I want her to realize I’m
The best thing she have ever had and knowing her being with one else was the hardest decision I took my entire life .
She is a type that usually wants things to work out somehow even as friends ( she still wants her ex husband to be her friend ) just because her soul is so naive and sweet.
Yet she haven’t responded to my text and I think it is because she might feel guilty or ashamed doing what she have done .
I want to hope she will compare me to other man and realize I’m the best thing she ever had in her life and come back to me .
Please guidenss thank you so much !

March 12, 2019, 01:41:00 PM
Reply #1



Do you still want this girl in your life? After everything?


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