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Author Topic: Chance of getting back together?

May 24, 2019, 02:11:31 PM
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Hi all,
Just a bit of background to my situation:
I've been in a long distance relationship for 21 months. I'm from England and she is from The Netherlands. We saw eachother about 5-6 times a year for various holidays and getaways. I've also just finished my final year of university and the last 3 months have been incredibly stressful and difficult for myself, with revision, coursework and an issue at home. As a result of this, me and my ex weren't speaking over Skype or on the phone very much, and conversations each day were much shorter than before. This is of course my fault as I focused everything I had on my degree and not on anything else. Before that, everything was amazing, every conversation was great and the time we spent with eachother in person were the best days of my life to date (I'm 24).
However, she came over Tuesday for a weeks holiday, and on that evening she broke up with me, and is staying with a friend she knows not too far away. She said that the last few weeks haven't been the same and because of that we ended up splitting up. I knew things weren't great, and the week I had planned I was hoping would make up for that, but clearly the damage has already been done and I can't show her how much she means to me.
She flies back home on the coming Tuesday, and I've asked to meet up with her to discuss the above and other things, but said she'd rather not. In my mind if the week had just gone ahead as planned, old feeling may have been restored from her side, unless she had fallen out of love for reasons other than the lack of attention paid to her. She has gotten me through so much and I've always tried to show her how much she means, so for her to break up with me due to a few weeks over a 21 month period just breaks my heart even more, knowing it's a result of what I've done.
Part of me is saying to meet her at the airport and tell her everything there before she flies back, and part of me is saying to leave it (the former is probably from wathcing too many movies :) ) I'd feel much happier if I could say everything I wanted to say in person, regardless of the result and see what happens, but the fact she said she didn't want to meet up right now makes me believe it's more than the few weeks she mentioned, either that or she's still upset about the whole thing.
So I guess my question is how to approach the situation, specifically the airport part. I don't (and won't if I can avoid it) tell her over a message, and would rather do it in person if I can catch her before she goes. Or how to approach the situation as a whole (as it's difficult to read being a biased party).

Thanks all

May 26, 2019, 09:32:01 PM
Reply #1


I’m sorry, but my gut is saying there’s more to this story. And I. D.o.n.t think you can change things right now even if you go to the airport or not. She’s made up her mind. Best of luck to you.

June 06, 2019, 09:43:13 AM
Reply #2


Hi, as an expert at having to deal with a long distance relationship  for 8 years i am convinced that the movies are in stark contrast to reality. You have more chances of nuclear fusion happening than any of those rosy things happening to you. Having said that i believe you should take your chances , give your self the best possible chance of getting back with her by meeting her. When you do meet her don't make her feel guilty of her decision to move in with this friend of her instead appeal to her sense of right/wrong .As a recent grad i understand what you are going through, what i suggest is you be brutally honest to her however hard it is for you , if she is still not convinced move on lad. Life has better things in store for you. God Bless!

June 07, 2019, 04:36:04 PM
Reply #3


There is always a chance unless you really screwed up it sounds like you stopped courting her properly. You need to stop going back to her though, just tell her what you want and don't agree to be friends, that wouldn't be true. Then walk away if you had a chance to get back with her she will get in contact with you.
A Man With Advice
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