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Author Topic: Can we get through this?

October 02, 2019, 04:24:48 PM
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My ex and I had been together for just under two years. We have had a great, loving relationship aside from the occasional fights that we always worked through on the same day. We live 2.5 hours away from each other but that hasn't been a huge issue for us. We both have kids, but my children's father is not in their lives. He is co-parenting with a very manipulative woman who has caused a lot of issues for us. There were other little issues that I was starting to notice as well, but nothing that we couldn't work through.
About 6 weeks ago we got into a big fight, mostly about his ex and her contacting me through facebook. She contacts me a lot and I always have ignored it in the past but this time I responded to her and was not nice. He didn't like that, he left angry and I at that point was done. We kept talking here and there. He was going through a lot in his personal life but I've always helped him as best as I felt I could. I could tell that he was wanting to make the relationship work and get back together, but I was hellbent on us needing more time. About 3 weeks ago we met up in person to talk things over. It was honestly probably too soon for us to talk, I didn't want to really take in what he was saying and just kept believing he was defending his ex over me. That was my fault and I realize that now. But by the end of the convo we were in a better place, both cried, and hugged goodbye. He said that his family really wants us to get back together and that I was the best thing to ever happen to him.
When I got back home and thought about things I messaged him on facebook saying maybe we could take things slow and he agreed. We kept talking here and there, nothing like we did when we were together. Then about 5 days after us meeting up he just started ignoring me. After a couple of days of him not responding to me I jokingly asked if he was seeing someone else and he said yes and to leave him alone there is no us. (I truly don't believe he's seeing someone else I think he just said that to get under my skin but that's neither here nor there). However that triggered something with me. I started thinking A LOT about how I was acting and the things I was messing up in the relationship. I tried so hard for a week to talk to him and let him know I was sorry and that I wanted to make us work. He eventually told me to stop messaging him and blocked me on facebook. I haven't tried to call or text him so I have no idea if I'm blocked through the phone. It has been 4 days and haven't heard from him, which I know isn't very long.
He is a very emotional person and mentally can only handle so much at once. I knew that he had a lot going on and I pushed rather than giving him his space. I just couldn't understand why he had all of a sudden wanted me to stop talking to him.
We really had a great thing going and our kids loved each other, and we loved them. I'm deeply regretful for how I was acting in our relationship without even realizing it. The hurt is real but I've been really working on myself and reflecting a lot. I've started writing in my journal again which has really helped.
I'm going to give him his space, but knowing him I don't think 30 days NC is a good idea. I'm trying to give him time to cool down but was going to reach out to him in a couple of weeks. But I'm preparing myself for rejection just in case he still doesn't want to talk or if he really is seeing someone else.
I know great relationships end everyday, it just all happened so fast and in my heart I don't feel like we are over. I'm still friends with his family on facebook and have no desire to delete them as we have always gotten along and they have consistently been nice during this. Any advice? TY in advance

October 02, 2019, 06:35:26 PM
Reply #1


I think what you're doing now is your best bet. Obviously we can't tell what you guys are really like or how you interact but it seems like you both have problems with each other in general. If he doesn't want you to message after being very adamant to get back together, maybe it's better to stay away.
But if you really think that it can work out then I'd message him in a week or two to see if hes the same. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

Good luck :)