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Author Topic: Can I save this marriage?

December 17, 2019, 11:59:16 AM
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Kkarolin


Hi. My husband (1 year marriage, 3 years together) said he wants a divorce. It came completely out of nowhere. He kept saying very weird reasons for this. He moved out a few days later. We decided to take a break. During that we hardly talked. When we talked (on phone) he kept saing stuff that really made zero sens and he could say two complitely different things in one conversation. Than after two months of my complete break down I was somehow ready. I told him if he is sure we can start the divorce process.

Than he said: no, lets wait, maybe there is a way to fix it. We met a month later. He initiated the meeting. He said we will try fixing this marriage. For first 30min it was great. He said we can try slowly, go on dates and stuff. Than, completely suddenly he said he doesnt want me anymore and started accusing me of very crazy horrible stuff I would really, really never imagine. Than he literally run away. He broke me to pieces again.

He also told his family bad stuff about me. They started calling and asking why I do this. I love his family soo much and it broke me even more. I tried telling them I would never do stuff he says. Im not sure they believed me - they live in a different continent and cant see him.

The thing is I am very very worried my husband has problems with mental health. He will not go to the doctor, I tried. He scared me because he really believes in very crazy things.

What can i do? I love him a lot. I will not leave a person I love who is in a state like this. Just like I wouldnt leave him if he got very sick. I am not sure what he wants. For example before we met to fix the marriage (his words!) he told his family we are for sure getting a divorce. What he says makes zero sense.

The only thing Im sure is that he is lost. What can i do?

April 09, 2020, 04:32:07 AM
Reply #1
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AshleyMcCl


I am really sorry to read about what you are going through! That's really tough when you are not sure about what to expect from the one you really love, especially if he doesn't want to be with you anymore. My XH used to behave that way too, he spoke about a divorce a lot, moved out for a couple of months, later appointed a meeting and said that he wants to start over again, sent flowers and was really thoughtful. Then mother-in-law called me and said that I have to stop bothering him and let him move on and that he has begun california diy divorce and I should leave him alone. However I didn't try to reach him out, he was the one who literally begged me for a fresh start. Even after divorce was over he tried to come back, but all the time inlaws were calling me and telling me to step aside. Those were tough years and I am not sure that I would let him doing the same once again.
« Last Edit: April 09, 2020, 04:49:23 AM by AshleyMcCl »

April 11, 2020, 01:16:04 AM
Reply #2
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DreamGuyxo


I have been in a state of anxiety and I am also a person with history of hallucinations I do too attend a clinic for appointments with a psychiatrist..

At the moment it looks like your boyfriend is going through anxiety episodes that make sure he would say these horrible things to you he could be having anxiety thoughts that may not seem real to you or even him

Since I have been in this situation before with my ex, I would say that giving him his time of separation will work best, going through with the divorce or completely letting him go on his own (until he has recovered) is best for you right now

Mental illness is a very timely need of recovery

If you would like any more information or help you can message me

April 12, 2020, 03:18:09 AM
Reply #3
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melissa brown


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April 19, 2020, 12:35:17 AM
Reply #4
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MichelleCarlos


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