I have been with my girlfriend for nearly three years, and we have been living together for two. 

We met at a neighborhood bar.  At first we were just hanging out as friends, but one thing led to another and things became intimate without my intention for this to happen.  She was drinker and what I thought was a little dabbling in cocaine.  I participated too, after all I was single and was just out having a good time.  I broke it off with her after about three months.  Soon after, I got horribly sick with a strange strain of the flu.  I was bed ridden for a month.  She became aware of my illness and delivered hot food, brought groceries over, and drove me back and forth to the doctor.  Perhaps the Florence Nightingale effect took place because after I recovered we were back together and things were serious this time.  We started seeing more of each other, and instead of spending time at the bars we would just be hanging out at each others places watching movies and not really drinking and doing those bad things anymore.  We occasionally went out for dinner and drank with friend and family.  My friend and my family liked her and overall she is a very pleasant person to be around when things are going her way.

A year later she moved in with me.  By this time she had stopped working at the bars and restaurants that I think were a part of her former drinking patterns.  At this point her alcohol consumption really didn't bother me.  I thought that she was only drinking a glass or two of wine a day.  But eventually her behavior became more erratic and annoying over time.  On top of that I found out that she was still using cocaine behind my back.  Before her, I had a liberal point of view towards the substance.  A little dabbling here and there wasn't going to hurt anybody.  But this wasn't dabbling she was high at least two or three times a week.  I witnessed how toxic this substance is firsthand.  I put my foot down and told her that she had to stop using.  Although I don't think she didn't stop immediately she did eventually cut out the substance once she had a health scare when she went to the doctor and they told her she could have a stroke at anytime due to her high blood pressure.  Then she stopped. The drinking  really didn't.  She wasn't drinking one or two glasses a night, she was drinking up to almost two bottles.  Again I put my foot down, and told her that alcohol was no longer allowed into the house.  She gave in eventually but it wasn't easy. 

Things were looking up.  She got a new job after several stints in other jobs which she lost because of her past behavior, and not showing up to work.  She got a job as a hotel receptionist and soon got promoted to front desk manager.  She hasn't used cocaine for nearly two years and the drinking has been less of an issue. 

That is up to last month.  When she missed work three times in the past month due to drinking in excess.  On top of that she is giving her son nearly $800 a month for school, while neglecting to pay her rent and other things I take care of for her.  She has a cat which needed surgery which I paid nearly $1200 for which I told her she would need to pay me back for.  This drinking and missing work and the financial responsibility pushed me over the line.  It has been nearly four years since we met, and I was bit younger and naive then, but now I see my life going in a positive direction and I don't want the baggage of having to be with someone who misses work due to drinking and then comes up short with her responsibilities which i then take care of.

I broke up with her.  She is in my home for now, but I have given her a thirty day notice and taken most of my day-to-day and valuable belongings to my parents house where I am staying right now.  I also signed the title to my old car to her, and told her that she needed to get it registered and insured by the end of next week.  She is going around telling people that I mentally unstable and emotionally abusive because I dared showed anger over her behavior and neglect for my personal feelings and financial situation.

I do love and care for her, and feel a little guilt and remorse.  I did want things to work out for her, because she really is good and decent person save the alcohol and financial irresponsibility.   But I feel her lack of empathy towards me and my situation has come to a point where I need to break things off and I did.  She doesn't seem to care about how all of this affects me.

I'm hoping she moves out voluntarily and that I don't have to take legal action to get her out.

She is painting the story with her friends as she is choosing her son's schooling over me.  Her son lives with his father. 

When she moves out she will struggle and won't be able to afford to give her son any money for school.  I felt that her supporting him and neglecting her own responsibilities was a problem.  Am I wrong?  Should I feel guilty?  Am I making the right move by breaking up with her?

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