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Author Topic: 52 year old Girlfriend wants a break .....

April 14, 2020, 01:56:45 AM
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JustAGuy


My 52 yrs old girlfriend of 8 years asked for a "break" from our relationship this week.

This came after confronting her about the recent lack of basic intimacy (which opened other issues). By intimacy, I mean simply kissing, holding hands, hugging. At the end of the night, when I was leaving for home, she would turn her head and not kiss me. The first few times she would joke about it. But when I directly asked "what is going on", the ensuing chat ended in "then maybe we need a break", "I need to be alone", "I don't feel it", "What if I can't be that way anymore", "you deserve better".

GF has a few strange quirks that has existed throughout our 8 years .... GF often express she never wants to feel indebted to anyone (even me). For that reason, anything seems to be a transaction in some fashion. She will not "take advantage" of any convenience offer to her. This has caused several arguments because I will say "tell me what you want" and she says she is not comfortable asking me. I have never said no to her but her counter is that she does not ask for much.

Another quirk is she will never call / text me first to start the day nor has she ever come to my home on her own (she has keys to my place). I have raised this issue many times. It is as if A LADY NEVER GOES TO A MAN'S PLACE or PURSUES A MAN. The only times she will do so is when there is a crisis.

Quirk #3: She did not kiss me until our 6th date. Dates #1 thru #5 ended with a handshake...not even a hug.

She is extremely private even to her siblings. GF says that I know more about her than anyone even her ex-husband of 21 yrs. However, her odd quirks must be a result of something in her past. When I ask, she gets mad.

In the beginning, I told GF that marriage (in my opinion) is not necessarily required for a solid loving relationship to form/exist. GF eventually told me that she could not live with a guy without being married. Over the past 18 months, the topic of marriage was raised...but she politely said she was not ready for it.

Basically, everything comes down to $$$.  She often talks about our differences in consumer behavior. She is concerned about the future because even though my salary is more than twice hers .... she knows about my alimony payments (2.5 years to go), private college tuition. I am not a pauper, we enjoy life....I typically pay for all meals and vacations.

After my insistence for defining the break .... she said 6 weeks.

I am doing some fact finding since most articles I find on the internet revolve around much younger couples.

What is the consensus here .... is this a break or breakup? I know there is not much details above but ask away.

 

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