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Author Topic: 11 year relationship...he cheated

July 21, 2019, 11:11:40 PM
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heartbroken8592


Ive been in an 11 year relationship with a guy, we met when I was 15 im now 26, he is 7 years older than me and has been married before and has kids with her,

anyway in march i found out through facebook he was cheating on me and had been for around a year, It devistated me, broke me into and almost killed me , but I stayed because he begged and pleaded and cried,well i decided that if he could play and not care i could too, so i got out got me a snapchat,kik,tinder,whisper the whole nine yards, yes i cheated on him with 3 guys but 1 of them was all the time anytime we got the chance,

So I came out and told him everything, well there is this one guy that found me on whisper,he lives in a different state,we have been talking non stop since march, hes wanting me to come live with him every thing , no we have not met in person yet.

But its inevatable that me and the guy i am currently living with is not going to work out there is just no way,i love him but I dont love him like I use too, he really hurt me physically and mentally, He says he cares and all that but i just dont feel it anymore,

does any one have any pointers on how to do this? we are currently "engaged" which we have been for like 6 years, thats not going anywhere either. I feel like im in a rut but I just know its not going to work.

Thanks all

August 03, 2019, 02:35:58 AM
Reply #1
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chrishen


The engaged thing doesn't mean anything. It's not legally binding so don't let that label limit you from getting what you want.

First of all, you handled the situation pretty immaturely you must know. He cheated, so I'm going to have sex with a bunch of randoms from the internet, puts you at risk and punishes him zero. The revenge sex thing is completely illogical and accomplishes zero.

When he begged and pleaded and cried, you should've been more assertive. Because of your lack of assertiveness, you also cheated. Now you're both cheaters, so now you can't say anything to him because you're just as bad. Great. That's an example of two wrongs not making a right.

Don't jump into a DOMESTIC relationship with a guy from the internet you've never met. That's idiotic AT BEST.

As far as pointers go.

1. The guy cheated on you, and you cheated on him. Everything is in the trash. Do both of you a favor and break up with him.
2. Take a chill pill on men afterwards. Diving into another relationship is not smart. Get to know yourself and appreciate yourself and your own company again for a couple months. Sure, date and everything but it doesn't have to be the focal point of your life.

October 23, 2019, 07:14:33 PM
Reply #2
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zionseashell


I agree that your response was somewhat immature. I wonder what you will do after the guy you are with, if it doesn't work out. You now have a background of cheating and a very complicated/messy past. Obviously you can try to move on and see if a new partner might overlook your past wrongs (with a previous man) but it will be hard because you will not ever be sure if you can be honest or not. Good luck.

October 27, 2019, 04:50:00 AM
Reply #3
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ourbous


Just break it off with him cleanly and never consider going back again. It's clear that this is not the right relationship for you as you wouldn't have cheated and neither would he.

October 28, 2019, 04:04:59 PM
Reply #4
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LostLove123


I don't see how this can work, you've both been unfaithful..

November 15, 2019, 07:44:36 PM
Reply #5
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Geminifeed


I think you should really just cut the relationship off before it gets any worse. You've both made mistakes, even if he did first, and it's obvious you are ready to move forward with this new person. If you think that is your chance at happiness you should definitely break it off for good.

November 25, 2019, 04:20:08 PM
Reply #6
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Itinkso07


I think that the both of you have been unfaithful to another the trust isn't there. Break off the engagement. It most likely wont work out with the guy you want tt be with. You need time alone to figure out what you want.

 

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