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Author Topic: Would you forgive someone who hurt you that bad?

August 10, 2019, 09:00:37 AM
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ioana


  I've just started my first job, mostly because my college requires me to do so. But the problem is that my boss is a bit too "friendly" to the point where im very uncomfortable and, to be honest, kinda scared (im 20 and he's 61). I cant quit and i also wanted to try and see how he'd react if i told him that im not ok with what he's doing. I am an anxious person and weak, i really wanted to demonstrate that i can stand up for myself and that i can be independent. But it was a little part of me that was afraid of what could go wrong in there.
  So i asked my boyfriend if he could come and wait outside of the building, just in case if something happens so i could reach him. He told me that confronting my boss is a big risk im taking, that he could rape me and i should quit no matter what. After i told him i cant quit, he told me that if i want to go there, i should do it on my own and he doesn't support me. I confronted my boss and everything was ok thank God, but i was still very upset that he let me go alone even if he was concerned i could've potentially ended up sexually assaulted. Shouldn't he have protected me in a situation like this?
  We got into a fight and he told me something i cant get past: 'If he had raped you or did anything bad to you, you would've deserved it because you went there knowing it could happen'. I cant imagine how can someone believe that anyone deserves to be raped. Not to mention that he is the kindest, nicest guy, asked me for consent every time, so i was shocked.
  He now apologized for not being there for me when i needed and after i explained him why i needed so bad to confront my boss and not just quit, he said i was right. No one has ever hurt me as much as he did when he said those words. My brain says i should know my worth and not be with someone that finds excuses for rape, but my heart tells me it was miscommunication and he didn't understand my actions because he told me he now understands my point of view.
  Im sorry for the long story, but it is a sensitive topic and i want opinions on if i should forgive him or not.

August 10, 2019, 05:03:54 PM
Reply #1
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JTSW


I would never forgive someone who says you deserve to be raped. Kick this pos to the curb. You did the right thing confronting your boss and your bf should have supported you.

August 12, 2019, 07:24:28 PM
Reply #2
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TornIn2


Remember your self worth and respect yourself.

If he makes you feel like crap and doesn't behave in a proper supportive manner,  you should move on. 

August 12, 2019, 09:23:55 PM
Reply #3
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fizzy


yes the moment you forgive someone you actually releasing yourself and you are growing into a much stronger person

August 13, 2019, 09:18:44 AM
Reply #4
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JTSW


yes the moment you forgive someone you actually releasing yourself and you are growing into a much stronger person

This is not forgivable. Telling someone they deserve to be raped is the most hurtful thing an unsupporting partner can say. This is not a man she wants to be with.

August 15, 2019, 06:41:43 PM
Reply #5
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1234567


People don't always mean what they say.
He might have said it in anger, you will know if he meant it or not.
If it is just out of anger and he said it by mistake and if he apologized then please give him a chance. If he thinks what he said was not wrong dump his ass

 

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