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Author Topic: Why am I Repulsed by My Boyfriend?

September 07, 2020, 02:41:07 AM
Read 153 times


Looking for advice if my current boyfriend is worth trying to make things work with or not. Me and him, "Mason", have been on and off again for 3 times now. Each time I have broken it off because I just don't feel crazy about him and I always end up craving being single or wishing I was with someone else...and I'm not sure why. Sure, Mason isn't perfect, but who is? I certainly am not, and I don't expect that in a partner. Mason has a lot of good qualities (hard working, positive attitude, reliable), and we have a lot in common (similar hobbies, lifestyles, religion, and political views). This man I am certain is willing to do anything for me. After 3 years of leading him on, then letting him go, he's never left my side as a friend (and he's the one that insisted on remaining friends) and has continued to show his affection through random thoughtful gifts even...and because he loves me unconditionally, I guess I can't help but run to him when I'm feeling lonely or think I'm making a mistake by turning down a man who loves me so much. So, I'm in the same dilemma...again. We started dating a couple weeks ago, and I'm starting to feel annoyed and repulsed by him...again. I don't know what it is. Sure, he can talk too much, he has a lot of little habits that annoy me (like scraping his teeth when he eats with a fork), he's physically too clingy, and I don't find him very physically attractive, even though there is nothing about him that is very unappealing if you look at him.  It's very hard for me to be physically intimate with him, I am just repulsed. It feels almost like I'm with a brother...yeah, gross, and idk why. These sound like small issues overall. I don't get why it ends up bothering me so much and why I find him so repulsive. Anyone have any advice or have been in a similar situation?

September 08, 2020, 02:43:13 AM
Reply #1


I think you can talk with him, talk about your true feeling.
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September 08, 2020, 01:30:09 PM
Reply #2


I appreciate your advice! It's just difficult to bring up because I know he tries really hard for me and I feel like some of it is nit-picky. Plus I think it would be insulting to say :"You talk too much"  "You're too clingy" "You kiss like a fish" "I have almost no physical attraction towards you". I would hate having someone say those things about me. And I do value our friendship. It's the only thing I like about our relationship, and how we have a lot of similar interests and beliefs.

September 08, 2020, 06:22:14 PM
Reply #3


A relationship that you can't put your all into is never going to work. It seems like you may be getting back together with him because you either feel bad, or don't think you can find someone else. He seems like a nice guy, but relationships can never be forced. You need to break up with him girl... Allow him to share his love with someone who basks in it, and as for you, allow yourself to explore and meet new people. There are plenty of fish in the sea and you are ignoring them to settle for less. Both of you could be happier.

September 14, 2020, 04:16:57 PM
Reply #4


I think that feelings are for being felt, not being talked about. So, your boyfriend is not a fool and is not retarded. If you feel repulsed by him for no objective reason, it means that you may not love him enough. Try to give yourself some space for some socially accepted reason, say, being busy with some work project. Use tips from this blog about how to keep feelings alive www.healthcarebusinesstoday.com/how-to-preserve-feelings-in-senior-relationships// if you see that nothing works out for you anyway.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2020, 12:46:55 PM by beardedbear »

September 16, 2020, 12:54:03 AM
Reply #5


Lover vs provider.
You chase the lover
The provider chases you

The lover excites you - you never know what can happen next
The provider offers little surprises - you know who he is

The lover cannot easily be kept in your bed, but you love the chase. Maybe I'll be the one?
The provider will be there for you.

The lover might leave you - and you'll have that sweet anguish
The provider will stick around.

The solution?
Go love some more lovers long enough, until you actually can appreciate a provider.


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