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Author Topic: When you've done everything to move on but still can't move on

August 14, 2018, 12:57:58 PM
Read 213 times

alymae


How do you move on from a relationship when you've done everything for the sake of moving on and you still can't move on? I'm constantly battling with myself because I have the urge to call my ex-boyfriend. I really just want to forget him. I still seem to hope that we are going to get back together. I don't wanna do this anymore.

August 14, 2018, 03:37:11 PM
Reply #1

all-mad-here


It’s HARD. It’s so hard. Keep in mind that a loss is a loss - and when it’s someone you love, it’s going to take time to heal.

Are you familiar with the stages of grief? They go something like denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They vary a little in order from person to person, and some take longer than others, but they all end with acceptance...and you’ll get there too. It might be an uncomfortable journey, but start by reminding yourself that time WILL help.

In the meantime...focus on taking care of YOU. We girls neglect to do that sometimes when we’re focused on something (or someone) else! Do things that make you happy, as often as you can - hanging out with a friend, picking up an old hobby, volunteering, etc. The busier your mind is with positive things, the less time you’ll spend thinking about your ex...and that will help you to move on in the end.

Hugs!!
<3 ~ Happily Married 17 Years ~ <3

August 15, 2018, 06:18:15 AM
Reply #2

nekonieden


Acceptance is the key. You should accept the fact that he doesn't love you anymore. It may hurt you but that is reality that you must accept. You are trying to move on but you still think of the "what ifs". For example what if he will come back soon? what if someday he will realized that he made a biggest mistake which was breaking up with you? You can't move on with those thoughts as you just expect that things to happen. Don't you ever do that. Try not to think of him even if its really hard. You can look for someone, just sight seeing  just for fun and for you not to focus on him because it will make you even more crazier if you still expect anything from him. Expect nothing anymore and just look forward for your greater future. There are still better guys there, you will just have to wait for that and pray to the Lord about your partner.
NekoniEden <3

August 16, 2018, 08:12:25 AM
Reply #3

alymae


Thank you for your advices. It's hard but I'm doing my best to forget. I know that someday I will be able to forget him and I pray to God that the right person will come. I'm slowly accepting that we are now over. Slow but moving.

August 16, 2018, 10:32:08 AM
Reply #4

huggypillows


Let the time, time will always help you to move on. you can focus on other things. There is a guy that I love so much. but I can't force someone to love me. Start to change and find things where you can focus like traveling.

August 17, 2018, 01:40:12 PM
Reply #5

Corzhens


I am confused by your declaration - "I really just want to forget him. I still seem to hope that we are going to get back together." It is as clear as daylight that you are confused on the direction that you want to pursue. In other words, you haven't made up your mind. But if you really want to move on, you have to be firm with your resolve. I guess you need to socialize more and try to engage in an interesting activity. Maybe you can try playing computer games or watching a concert. Do anything just to occupy your mind.

August 19, 2018, 02:27:42 PM
Reply #6

alymae


Yeah. I want to forget him but their is still hope in my heart that we can get back together. Really, I'm confused myself of what I really want. But what I do know is that I deserve to be loved. This is why I'm fighting myself. I fight the urge to go back to him. I guess a heart that loves, hopes. I can't erase the fact that my heart still beats for him. I'm slowly moving on. I might be crawling now but I'll definitely learn to run and not look back  at him.

August 21, 2018, 09:09:01 AM
Reply #7

ajahcuizon


I know it is hard, really really hard to resist of calling him back but remember you cannot be together with someone who doesn't want you anymore. You have to accept the fact that there are no more chance for the both of you, believe that if both of you are really destined to each other, the right time will come that you two will meet again, in good terms and we don't know, in God's grace, you could be together. But for now what I could suggest to you is to move on by hanging out with your friends, delete his phone number from your phone and keep your self busy, very busy. So that you won't remember him, also refrain from doing what both of you used to do. Especially when he really left you a big scar that you can't forget, all you have to do is to accept it and learn that you can never change the past. You're a princess and you should find a man that will treat you as if he wanted to marry you and spend the rest of his life with you and not with a man you will leave you when everything's falling apart.

August 23, 2018, 08:18:20 AM
Reply #8

Donyababoy


Perhaps the reason why you can’t move on from your ex is that because you’ve tried running away fast before the race have started. The race I’m referring to is your journey in finally accepting that the relationship has reached its end. Before running away, and before starting this race, take time to stop and look inside you and maybe try understanding what it is inside your partner. Try to understand why the relationship is at stake of ending, finally ending without any chance of repeat in spite the hope you kept on holding on that it could still continue. Then finally start walking, roam around what you really want and if it is satisfied. These things falls to no one else but you. Despite whatever you may find in roaming around and looking deep within yourself, know that you deserve to be happy. And if you are not happy, look around you, there are million reasons to smile, find them. Don’t trap your world around a single person. You should be the one that matters before anything else, and because you’re a female, he should be the one calling first, it’s the best sign to know if he actually cares for you or if he wants you again. Because TRUTHFULLY if he does not want to continue the relationship, it’ll suck big time but that’s the whole point.  Chivalry is not dead. If he’s not the one to call you first, it surely tells you something.

 

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