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Author Topic: What's the line between over-dependence and looking for support?

February 27, 2020, 10:39:54 AM
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brainysprite


My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. I have some depression and I feel like I function ok with it but I definitely have some bad days. I'd say every other day is at least a little difficult and talking with my boyfriend helps.

I've  told him how much calling helps but he never calls first, he always misses the time we were supposed to call and he often makes other plans and forgets to tell me. Even when we do call it is usually very late because he has prioritized everything else first (but he still takes the call even if it means he only has four hours sleep before work) and he can't stay awake to listen to my issues. We are in a long-distance relationship right now but lived together for a long time and the issues were similar.

He loves me and enjoys being with me but I would like to be able to call and text him much more often for emotional support. Although I am also busy working and studying for my masters abroad I could easily make time for several calls a day but he can't seem to even remember that I'm here waiting to hear from him.

At what point am I being over-dependent in him for emotional support and where's the line between him having his own life and him not being involved enough with his girlfriend who has depression?

I often feel like I am having an emotional emergency (sometimes unrelated to him so guilt is not always a factor in why he avoids me) and he isn't worried enough to text back while he's out with friends (at work/college is obviously understandable).

 

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