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Author Topic: What's happening with this guy?

January 01, 2019, 04:52:38 AM
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Rose4


This man, who is my therapist, had said something to me that made me feel uncertain about how he views me. I had told him once that I liked him as a therapist. Right after I had made that comment, he told me that he was glad that I had said that and that I've always been his favorite client. Another time, I was getting ready to leave a session and he said, "I hope you enjoy this warm weather, such as yourself". Then he quickly fixed what he had said by saying, "such as today". He also tries to find things in common with me. For example, I had told him that I was Greek. Then, he told me that he was Greek too even though he has told me multiple times in the past that he only has Swedish ancestry. Sometimes, with some of the things that I'm interested in, he'd apply some of my interests into his life that he's never been interested in before. For example, if I was really into astrology, he'd start getting into astrology too.

I'm also in group therapy with him. During these group therapy sessions, he'd would always try to sit next to me even when there were other seats open and available for him to sit in next to other clients. I would try to sit somewhere else to see if he'd would follow me and he never fails to sit next to me. If he isn't able to sit next to me at all, he'll stare at me for a long time after the session is over and as I'm getting myself ready to leave. He also mirrors my body language while he's looking and listening to other people within the group. If I sit back in my chair, he sits back in his chair a 3 seconds later. Or , if I rest my hand by my neck, he'll do the same right after me. He's married and I'm single.

Why is he doing all of this?

January 01, 2019, 03:11:47 PM
Reply #1
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missg


This man, who is my therapist, had said something to me that made me feel uncertain about how he views me. I had told him once that I liked him as a therapist. Right after I had made that comment, he told me that he was glad that I had said that and that I've always been his favorite client. Another time, I was getting ready to leave a session and he said, "I hope you enjoy this warm weather, such as yourself". Then he quickly fixed what he had said by saying, "such as today". He also tries to find things in common with me. For example, I had told him that I was Greek. Then, he told me that he was Greek too even though he has told me multiple times in the past that he only has Swedish ancestry. Sometimes, with some of the things that I'm interested in, he'd apply some of my interests into his life that he's never been interested in before. For example, if I was really into astrology, he'd start getting into astrology too.

I'm also in group therapy with him. During these group therapy sessions, he'd would always try to sit next to me even when there were other seats open and available for him to sit in next to other clients. I would try to sit somewhere else to see if he'd would follow me and he never fails to sit next to me. If he isn't able to sit next to me at all, he'll stare at me for a long time after the session is over and as I'm getting myself ready to leave. He also mirrors my body language while he's looking and listening to other people within the group. If I sit back in my chair, he sits back in his chair a 3 seconds later. Or , if I rest my hand by my neck, he'll do the same right after me. He's married and I'm single.

Why is he doing all of this?

Hi @Rose4, first off, I think you're doing the right thing in questioning his actions. I would too.

When you go to group therapy, how long has this been going on for (him sitting next to you every single time?).

How long have you been having therapy with him? At what stage did you tell him that you liked him as a therapist, did he act the same as he is now before you made that comment?

It's odd behaviour but what are you hoping comes out of this, or what you think he's doing?

Do you think he fancies you?

Also how old are you both?

January 01, 2019, 03:48:59 PM
Reply #2
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Rose4


This man, who is my therapist, had said something to me that made me feel uncertain about how he views me. I had told him once that I liked him as a therapist. Right after I had made that comment, he told me that he was glad that I had said that and that I've always been his favorite client. Another time, I was getting ready to leave a session and he said, "I hope you enjoy this warm weather, such as yourself". Then he quickly fixed what he had said by saying, "such as today". He also tries to find things in common with me. For example, I had told him that I was Greek. Then, he told me that he was Greek too even though he has told me multiple times in the past that he only has Swedish ancestry. Sometimes, with some of the things that I'm interested in, he'd apply some of my interests into his life that he's never been interested in before. For example, if I was really into astrology, he'd start getting into astrology too.

I'm also in group therapy with him. During these group therapy sessions, he'd would always try to sit next to me even when there were other seats open and available for him to sit in next to other clients. I would try to sit somewhere else to see if he'd would follow me and he never fails to sit next to me. If he isn't able to sit next to me at all, he'll stare at me for a long time after the session is over and as I'm getting myself ready to leave. He also mirrors my body language while he's looking and listening to other people within the group. If I sit back in my chair, he sits back in his chair a 3 seconds later. Or , if I rest my hand by my neck, he'll do the same right after me. He's married and I'm single.

Why is he doing all of this?

Hi @Rose4, first off, I think you're doing the right thing in questioning his actions. I would too.

When you go to group therapy, how long has this been going on for (him sitting next to you every single time?).

How long have you been having therapy with him? At what stage did you tell him that you liked him as a therapist, did he act the same as he is now before you made that comment?

It's odd behaviour but what are you hoping comes out of this, or what you think he's doing?

Do you think he fancies you?

Also how old are you both?


I've been having group therapy with him for two months so far and we've had about six of these meetings.

I've been having individual therapy with him for three years. I had actually told him that I liked him after the first two group therapy meetings during an individual session.

His reaction after I had told him that I liked him was him getting really excited about it. I was still finishing up what I had to say about how much he has helped me and he quickly replied while smiling really big. He said, "I'm glad that you said that. You're my favorite client and I've always liked you."
Before the group therapy began, he made that remark about the "warm weather" after a session. During our next session, he had mentioned that he recognizes that he is dealing with counter-transference. Usually after our session is over, he'll linger as he says goodbye to me, but after he had talked about the counter-transference issue with me, he has attempted to stop lingering after a couple of our sessions. But, it didn't last because he has gone back to lingering again. Occasionally when he lingers, I've noticed that he'll stare at my lips instead of looking at my eyes (one of those moments was right after he made the comment about the "warm weather").

He's in his 30's and I'm in my 20's.

I'm not hoping for anything bad to happen throughout therapy. But, his actions and some of the things he says to me kind of seems odd.

January 01, 2019, 04:16:09 PM
Reply #3
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missg


This man, who is my therapist, had said something to me that made me feel uncertain about how he views me. I had told him once that I liked him as a therapist. Right after I had made that comment, he told me that he was glad that I had said that and that I've always been his favorite client. Another time, I was getting ready to leave a session and he said, "I hope you enjoy this warm weather, such as yourself". Then he quickly fixed what he had said by saying, "such as today". He also tries to find things in common with me. For example, I had told him that I was Greek. Then, he told me that he was Greek too even though he has told me multiple times in the past that he only has Swedish ancestry. Sometimes, with some of the things that I'm interested in, he'd apply some of my interests into his life that he's never been interested in before. For example, if I was really into astrology, he'd start getting into astrology too.

I'm also in group therapy with him. During these group therapy sessions, he'd would always try to sit next to me even when there were other seats open and available for him to sit in next to other clients. I would try to sit somewhere else to see if he'd would follow me and he never fails to sit next to me. If he isn't able to sit next to me at all, he'll stare at me for a long time after the session is over and as I'm getting myself ready to leave. He also mirrors my body language while he's looking and listening to other people within the group. If I sit back in my chair, he sits back in his chair a 3 seconds later. Or , if I rest my hand by my neck, he'll do the same right after me. He's married and I'm single.

Why is he doing all of this?

Hi @Rose4, first off, I think you're doing the right thing in questioning his actions. I would too.

When you go to group therapy, how long has this been going on for (him sitting next to you every single time?).

How long have you been having therapy with him? At what stage did you tell him that you liked him as a therapist, did he act the same as he is now before you made that comment?

It's odd behaviour but what are you hoping comes out of this, or what you think he's doing?

Do you think he fancies you?

Also how old are you both?


I've been having group therapy with him for two months so far and we've had about six of these meetings.

I've been having individual therapy with him for three years. I had actually told him that I liked him after the first two group therapy meetings during an individual session.

His reaction after I had told him that I liked him was him getting really excited about it. I was still finishing up what I had to say about how much he has helped me and he quickly replied while smiling really big. He said, "I'm glad that you said that. You're my favorite client and I've always liked you."
Before the group therapy began, he made that remark about the "warm weather" after a session. During our next session, he had mentioned that he recognizes that he is dealing with counter-transference. Usually after our session is over, he'll linger as he says goodbye to me, but after he had talked about the counter-transference issue with me, he has attempted to stop lingering after a couple of our sessions. But, it didn't last because he has gone back to lingering again. Occasionally when he lingers, I've noticed that he'll stare at my lips instead of looking at my eyes (one of those moments was right after he made the comment about the "warm weather").

He's in his 30's and I'm in my 20's.

I'm not hoping for anything bad to happen throughout therapy. But, his actions and some of the things he says to me kind of seems odd.

Yeah, that's weird! His actions are odd.

Maybe he finds you attractive and that's his was of flirting, though, he may have no intentions of doing anything, but likes flirting as it's harmless.

Keep us in the loop ..  :)

January 01, 2019, 04:23:55 PM
Reply #4
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Rose4


This man, who is my therapist, had said something to me that made me feel uncertain about how he views me. I had told him once that I liked him as a therapist. Right after I had made that comment, he told me that he was glad that I had said that and that I've always been his favorite client. Another time, I was getting ready to leave a session and he said, "I hope you enjoy this warm weather, such as yourself". Then he quickly fixed what he had said by saying, "such as today". He also tries to find things in common with me. For example, I had told him that I was Greek. Then, he told me that he was Greek too even though he has told me multiple times in the past that he only has Swedish ancestry. Sometimes, with some of the things that I'm interested in, he'd apply some of my interests into his life that he's never been interested in before. For example, if I was really into astrology, he'd start getting into astrology too.

I'm also in group therapy with him. During these group therapy sessions, he'd would always try to sit next to me even when there were other seats open and available for him to sit in next to other clients. I would try to sit somewhere else to see if he'd would follow me and he never fails to sit next to me. If he isn't able to sit next to me at all, he'll stare at me for a long time after the session is over and as I'm getting myself ready to leave. He also mirrors my body language while he's looking and listening to other people within the group. If I sit back in my chair, he sits back in his chair a 3 seconds later. Or , if I rest my hand by my neck, he'll do the same right after me. He's married and I'm single.

Why is he doing all of this?

Hi @Rose4, first off, I think you're doing the right thing in questioning his actions. I would too.

When you go to group therapy, how long has this been going on for (him sitting next to you every single time?).

How long have you been having therapy with him? At what stage did you tell him that you liked him as a therapist, did he act the same as he is now before you made that comment?

It's odd behaviour but what are you hoping comes out of this, or what you think he's doing?

Do you think he fancies you?

Also how old are you both?


I've been having group therapy with him for two months so far and we've had about six of these meetings.

I've been having individual therapy with him for three years. I had actually told him that I liked him after the first two group therapy meetings during an individual session.

His reaction after I had told him that I liked him was him getting really excited about it. I was still finishing up what I had to say about how much he has helped me and he quickly replied while smiling really big. He said, "I'm glad that you said that. You're my favorite client and I've always liked you."
Before the group therapy began, he made that remark about the "warm weather" after a session. During our next session, he had mentioned that he recognizes that he is dealing with counter-transference. Usually after our session is over, he'll linger as he says goodbye to me, but after he had talked about the counter-transference issue with me, he has attempted to stop lingering after a couple of our sessions. But, it didn't last because he has gone back to lingering again. Occasionally when he lingers, I've noticed that he'll stare at my lips instead of looking at my eyes (one of those moments was right after he made the comment about the "warm weather").

He's in his 30's and I'm in my 20's.

I'm not hoping for anything bad to happen throughout therapy. But, his actions and some of the things he says to me kind of seems odd.

Yeah, that's weird! His actions are odd.

Maybe he finds you attractive and that's his was of flirting, though, he may have no intentions of doing anything, but likes flirting as it's harmless.

Keep us in the loop ..  :)

Thank you! :)

January 04, 2019, 06:47:32 AM
Reply #5
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ender644


Imo therapy is somewhere where you should feel safe and if he's making you uncomfortable then that's detrimental to your therapy.

I would suggest looking into getting a new therapist at least as a backup plan.