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Author Topic: Very sheltered 1st relationship

February 07, 2019, 02:57:04 PM
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Samnjess8695


Hi, my boyfriend and I made a profile here to seek outside influence on our relationship.  Here's the problem from my end bluntly and might sound bad.  I've been with him for almost a year and he is my first boyfriend.  I am mid 20s and he is early 30s.  He is the nicest, kindest, most devoted person ever.  At first I thought he was too good to be true because he does stuff that I've never heard of outside of movies and romance books.  When i was sad on my birthday and my plans were cancelled he sold his project car and took me universal studios, he stays up with me every night when I'm lonely and have anxiety even when he has plans and needs to get up, he sold his xbox and got a playstation when I wanted him to game with me, he knows I'm kinda poor and he will support and pay for everything including helping me get into college, and most importantly he will do anything for me but break up with me when I'm mad.  That's a few of the things that are good about him.  Here's the bad.  Hes over a foot taller than me and isn't what I normally think of as attractive, my father doesnt like him because he cant control him, and almost all my Male friends online quit talking to me as soon as they met him.  So hes My first real friend also not just boyfriend because I was homeschooled and had some personal problems for awhile.  How important are his looks?  He turns me on sexually but for some reason especially during my time of the month he seems ugly to me.  Should I break up with him and play the field to see if theres someone else like him that wont look so awkward with me in public since our size difference is pretty big, I'm 4'11 and 90lbs and he's 6'5 and 300.  And will our size difference really be a problem anywhere?

February 08, 2019, 03:09:05 PM
Reply #1
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MrStan


hey,
he sounds like a great guy, and the biggest factor you need to consider is if you like spending a lot of time with him. hes very caring if he is there for you when you have problems, so he must have a good heart.
i know how it is to have your father not like your partner. the father of my ex didnt like me at first because i was to loose as i had way less rules growing up. but when i got to know her father and found some topics too talk to him about he started too be great. (he even still asks for me after we broke up). it takes effort for a man to have the father-in-law too like him :)
for your friends it might be more difficult but you have to ask yourself how good of friends they where if they dont want to talk to you becasue of your choice of partner. i think it is best to stay seeing your friends but not involving your partner. keeping them sepperated might be hard but it might keep your friends from ignoring you.

i hope this helps!

February 12, 2019, 06:20:05 PM
Reply #2
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JNelmondo


You might be criticized but I've said it before and I'll say it again: Our emotions aren't fair.

If the awkwardness is a big deal to you, then it is a big deal to you. Nobody but you (aside from your boyfriend of course) has to deal with the consequences of your actions.

I say all this because there seems to be some doubt about doing what you feel is the "right thing". There also seem to be a lot of influences you are contending with. But your father doesn't have to live in close proximity to your boyfriend, you do.

This is your decision, don't let others tear you away from what is becoming apparent.

Breaking up with him, if that is what you ultimately go with doesn't make him any less of a nice guy. He might struggle to understand why, but ultimately you free him up to be with someone who might be a better fit romantically.

I'm rambling again...

I suppose what I'm saying is that you should make the decision without factoring in too many third party opinions. This is your future.
Author of dubious success and the pixelated face behind the articles at the unknownbreakup.com

 

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