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Author Topic: Unsure what to do.

September 27, 2019, 09:26:45 AM
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Atlantic17


Hi,

This is a little bit of an unusual situation, and i'm a little unsure where to start with it.
I guess i'll start by saying that my wife and i have been together 16 years, and married for 10 years.
Our marriage has been generally pretty good but, in the last year and a half or so, things have definitely changed. My wife suffers from depression which certainly makes things harder but anyway, on to the concerns i have.
Around 2 years ago my wife came across a website that allowed you to wrote to prisioners in the USA. This seemed to interest her and give her something to focus on so, given her depression, we thought it would be a good idea.
This is where the problem has started, she has wrotten to quite a few different prisioners most of whom have stopped writting after a while however, there is one guy who she is still writting to, and has even flown over from here in the UK to visit, something i really wasn't happy with but, i'm her husband not captor.
Since comming back things have gone down hill rapidly. She texts him all the time and seem more interested in him than me!!
This was confirmed to me the other day when she said to me "he means as much to me as you do" honestly, she may as well have just stuck a knife in my heart, that killed me inside. I'm scared to bring it all up with her as we have already had a rocky patch in the last 4 months, thats all connected to this, so im worried she will just call it quits with our marriage.
I'm also sure she is texting other men, as she guards her phone strongly, and discretely turns it away from me if i get to close.
I'm looking for some advice on the best way to handle this situation, as i don't want my marriage to end but, it feels like it will if i confront her on this.
Any help or advice is greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

September 27, 2019, 08:24:32 PM
Reply #1
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Excalibur


That is a bit of a unique situation, but also a common one. The best thing to do would be to sit down and talk. No pointing fingers or accusations just discuss each other’s feelings and where you both think you are in your marriage. Be considerate of each other as neither one of you can control how the other feels. Don’t be offended and look for solutions not arguments. Our minds have a way of finding things to convince us of our assumptions, so be careful you may not be seeing what you think you see. We experience all kinds of love with people. It can be romantic, sexual, familial, or platonic. When she said he means as much to her as you do she probably didn’t mean the sexual or romantic relationship you two have but the platonic or familial. I say similar things all the time, my friends mean just as much to me as my partner does and I’d be heartbroken without any of them. I don’t know your entire situation obviously, but I find that a nice vacation can really help rekindle and heal a relationship. I hope everything works out!

 

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